Class. 3J.2_oi&, 

tottJJM 

1905 
Copyright N° 

COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



The Polite Pupil 



For the Use of 
Catholic Parochial and 
High Schools 



BROTHERS OF MARY 



NAZARETH, 
DAYTON, OHIO. 



V* 



LIBRARY of CONGRESS 
Two CoDies Received 

JAN 22 1906 

Copyright Entry 
CLASS CC XXc. No, 

/ 3 2 3 9 £ 

COPY B. 



Entered According to Act of Congress, in the Year 1905, by the 
BROTHERS OF MARY 
in the Office of the Librarian of Congress 
at Washington, D. C. 



Preface 



With pleasure W& present this little book to 
Christian educators, to be placed in the hands 
of their pupils. The compilation of the work 
has been a labor of love, growing out of expe- 
rience, and prompted by the earnest desire of 
seeing our Catholic pupils stand in the fore- 
most rank among the cultured and refined 
youth of our times. 

It is not, indeed, an exhaustive treatise on 
social forms and rules of etiquette, for the use 
of those that move in the exclusive circles of 
high society, but rather a compendium of seem- 
ing trifles : a multitude of little things regard- 
ing the look, the tone of voice, a charitable act, 
or a proof of self-denial or humility, a token 
of satisfaction or of gratitude, a kind and lov- 
ing word. These may appear trifles if consid- 
ered singly; but, taken collectively, they are 
the essentials of perfection, the ornaments of 
virtue — true politeness. 



Preface 



Though we have presented the subject of 
Good Manners in the somewhat prosaic form 
of a tedious study, still we make no attempt 
at an apology. Some contend that good man- 
ners are best imparted at home, and that, under 
a virtuous and loving mother's eye, the habits 
of true politeness are formed. Every expe- 
rienced educator will say : "Would that, under 
existing circumstances, this were always the 
case." 

When parents entrust their children to the 
care of a teacher, they not only make the latter 
a partaker of their authority, but in most cases 
they rely upon educators to supply what they 
have failed to accomplish. The school is thus 
held responsible for the good manners of their 
children, and therefore the unconscious influ- 
ence of the teacher's example of goodness and 
grace of manner will not suffice, — there must 
be a direct and systematic course of instruc- 
tion, and Good Manners must be made an im 
portant branch of study. 

With this end in view, we have arranged the 
subject-matter in as simple a form as possible. 
The chapters may serve as supplementary 
leading from time to time. The Questions for 



Preface 



Review will enable the teacher to divide the 
chapter into lessons of suitable length for the 
various grades. The Extracts for Memorizing 
will likewise prove a useful study. 

New York, N. Y. 
Feast of the Nativity of Our Blessed Lady. 
1905 



CONTENTS 



PAGE 

Preface 3 — 5 

CHAPTER I. 

Good Manners at Home 9 — 20 

CHAPTER II. 

Good Manners at Table 21—34 

CHAPTER III. 

A Code of Table Manners 35— 39 

CHAPTER IV. 

Good Manners at School , . 40 — 59 

CHAPTER V. 

Good Manners at Church 60 — 72 

CHAPTER VI. 

Good Manners in Public 73 — 92 

CHAPTER VII. 

Good Manners in Conversation .... 93 — 121 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Good Manners in Recreation 122 — 128 

CHAPTER IX. 

Good Manners in Business 129 — 139 



CHAPTER I 



Good Manners at Home 

1. Home. — Our home ought to be to us the 
dearest place on earth, and it is the duty of 
every member of the family to make it so. As 
children, we spend the long period of our 
growth at home, where we are fitted to take 
our place in the large world of men and women. 
We should, therefore, be more polite, more 
thoughtful, more entertaining and more help- 
ful at home than anywhere else. Thus, when 
we go out into the world, we need not put on 
a show of good manners, for these will have 
become part and parcel of ourselves. 

2. Parents. — Good manners will become 
natural if they are habitually practiced in the 
family circle. The children's behavior towards 
their parents must ever be marked by love and 
respect. They must love their parents because, 
after God, they are their greatest benefactors. 

9 



10 



Good Manners at Home. 



They owe respect and obedience to their par- 
ents who hold the place of God and have their 
authority from Him. 

A child that loves its parents will seek every 
opportunity to render them some little service, 
will grieve when it cannot add to their happi- 
ness, will never be carried away by anger, 
will never permit a harsh or offensive word to 
cross its lips in their presence, and will assist 
them, in health and in sickness, with every 
kind attention that love will suggest. 

A polite child will always speak to its par- 
ents in a respectful tone of voice, will gladly 
accept their advice and follow it, and espe- 
cially, will never contradict them. An obedient 
child will never show dissatisfaction, by pout- 
ing or grumbling, when parents refuse a per- 
mission or forbid anything that would be to its 
liking. 

3. Father.— The father is the head of the 
family. It is he that labors for the support 
and education of his children, and therefore, 
the gratitude which they owe him will teach 
them to act with kindness and respect. Polite 
and grateful children will always salute their 
father when meeting, will never forget to say 



Good Manners at Home. 



11 



"Father," when addressing him, will quickly 
and cheerfully obey not only his positive com- 
mands, but his very wishes; and in general 
will be solicitous for his comfort. 

4. Mother. — The mother shares the govern- 
ment of the family with the father, and with 
him works for the welfare of the children. The 
same motives should therefore prompt chil- 
dren to show every mark of love, respect and 
obedience to their mother. 

A polite son will act towards his mother 
with more civility and gentleness than he 
would towards any other person. He will re- 
move his hat when he is in the same room with 
her, or when meeting her in public. A polite 
child will open the door and allow her to pass 
through first, will pick up any article she may 
have dropped, give her the best side of the 
walk, and help her in or out of a car or car- 
riage; will accompany her to the store or the 
market, will carry a parcel, and will wait upon 
her anywhere. 

5. Grandparents. — Old age always commands 
deference and respect, but more especially in 
the person 6f a grandparent. A polite and 
courteous child will surround its grandparents 



12 



Good Manners at Home. 



with delicate attentions; will respect their 
tastes and ways of doing; will remove nothing 
belonging to them without asking their per- 
mission; will furnish what they ask for, and 
will listen to their advice with respectful atten- 
tion. It would be very rude to laugh at their 
shortcomings, or to hurt their feelings. 

6. Children. — Rude ways of acting and 
speaking are faults anywhere, but they are 
greater faults at home. Therefore, children 
must strive to acquire a kind and pleasant 
manner of acting and speaking; they must 
learn to be polite and courteous in all things 
and at all times. The surest means of acquir- 
ing this is, to imitate the mild and gentle child 
Jesus, who himself has said : "Learn of Me, 
for I am meek and humble of heart!" What 
a happy home that would be, in which the chil- 
dren would all be as kind and gentle, as oblig- 
ing and forgiving, as their Divine Model in His 
humble home at Nazareth ! 

Never forget, each morning, to greet all the 
members of the family with "good morning," 
and at night, never retire before respectfully 
bidding your parents, and every member of 
the family older than yourself, "good night." 



Good Manners at Home. 



13 



Never rush boisterously into a room. If, 
upon entering a room, you should find com- 
pany there, salute them with a "good day" or a 
"good morning." You need not shake hands 
with the visitors, unless they first offer to do 
so. Never whistle in the presence of your 
elders, or drum on a seat or on the wall, or 
make unnecessary noises of any kind when peo- 
ple are near. Do not shout when you want to 
speak, whether in doors or out. 

Brothers and sisters can do much for one 
another. This relationship ought to be one of 
the most pleasant and most helpful in life. 
Living under the same roof, they must avoi e d 
all disputes, all bitter words and looks; they 
must ask pardon of one another, when they 
have done some harm, and willingly forgive 
each other when offended ; they must avoid all 
mockery, tale-bearing, and jealousy; and by 
mutual acts of kindness and forgetfulness of 
self, they must "bear each other's burdens." 

7. Boys. — The ideal boy is the one who 
always tries to be a little gentleman. He will 
never wear his hat in the house, nor whistle at 
the dinner table, nor leave his books or play- 
things lie scattered about. He will have a 



14 



Good Manners at Home. 



place for everything, and everything in its 
place. Moreover, he will not fret and show his 
displeasure when he is told to bring in the 
wood, to run an errand, or to do some work in 
the garden. He will raise his feet when walk- 
ing, and will avoid all noise when going up or 
down the stairs. He will not stand about with 
his hands in the pockets of his trousers, nor 
will he tease his sisters or younger playmates. 
Above all, he will not do a mean or sneaking 
act. It is just as dishonorable to deceive by 
indirect means as to tell a lie squarely. 

A kind and gentlemanly boy will try to find 
occasions to help his sister; he is stronger, and 
can render many a little service to oblige her. 
He will not let her go about on his errands, 
run up stairs for him, or get his hat and coat. 
He will offer to light the gas for his sister, put 
coal on the fire, place a chair, open a door, 
escort her after dark, or call for her and bring 
her home from a friend's house. 

8. Girls. — A sister will always gratefully 
acknowledge the kindness of a brother. She, 
too, will find occasion to render him a service, 
to sew on a stray button, or to mend a rip in 
his glove. Girls are apt to be more gentle and 



Good Manners at Home. 



15 



refined than boys; they can do much by their 
example and kind advice to make a brother 
gentler. Girls must not be snappish if their 
brothers tease them. Boys ought not to tease, 
it is true, but nothing makes teasing of so little 
account as taking it amiably and pleasantly. 

A polite and gentle daughter will gladly do 
a little sewing; will help to take care of 
younger children ; and she will especially take 
great care of her own things. 

9. Servants. — It is a mark of true politeness 
to be courteous towards the servants. Always 
speak to them in a pleasant tone, saying 
"Please," or "Kindly do this for me," when 
asking a favor, or "Thank you," for any service 
rendered by them. 

10. General Behavior. — When you are awak- 
ened in the morning, get up at once and say: 
"Thanks be to God !" Thus you will begin the 
day with God, by thanking Him for the re- 
freshing sleep, and for having preserved you 
from all harm during the night. 

Do not leave your room before you are prop- 
erly dressed. Then take Holy Water, make 
the sign of the cross, begging God to bless you 
for the day that you are about to begin. 



16 



Good Manners at Home. 



Be very particular about washing yourself 
thoroughly, aud learn to comb your hair de- 
cently. Cut or trim your finger nails, but 
never do this in the presence of others. Then 
kneel and say your accustomed morning 
prayers devoutly and with attention. 

Before you go to school, see that your books 
and pencils are all in good order. Brush your 
clothes, if necessary, shine your shoes, and do 
not forget your handkerchief. 

Upon your return from school, greet the 
members of your family politely. Then put 
your books away carefully, bearing in mind 
this rule, which will often save you much 
trouble: "Have a place for everything, and 
everything in its place." 

Have a special time for study and for your 
home-work, and perform this part of your 
daily duty faithfully. Never put off till to- 
morrow what ought to be done to-day. 

See that your books are all neatly covered, 
and sharpen your pencils for the next day. 

Never spit upon the floor, but use your hand- 
kerchief or the spittoon. Do not spit out of 
the window, nor down the stairs, where people 



Questions for Review. 17 



might be passing. It is not merely impolite, 
but very shameful to spit at anyone. 

Whenever you have to yawn or cough, place 
your hand before your mouth. Should you 
have to sneeze, use your handkerchief. Never 
put your fingers to your nose, or bite your 
finger nails. 

A polite and orderly child will go to bed 
at the proper time, without waiting to be told. 
Say your night prayers on your knees, and 
with devotion, and never fail to examine your 
conscience. Then bless yourself with Holy 
Water, and retire, saying: "Praised be Jesus 
Christ !" 



Questions for Review 

1. What is a child's duty as member of the 
family? How should children act at home? 

2. When will our good manners be natural ? 
Why must we love our parents? Why do we 
owe them respect and obedience? How will a 
child show love to its parents? respect? obe- 
dience? 



18 



Questions for Review. 



3. How will polite children act towards 
their father? 

4. How will a polite son act towards his 
mother? What will a polite child do? 

5. How will a polite and courteous child 
act towards its grandparents? 

6. What must children avoid? What must 
they strive to acquire? What is the surest 
means of doing so? What must you observe 
in the morning and at night? upon entering a 
room? What must you avoid? How must 
brothers and sisters act towards each other? 
What must they avoid? 

7. Who is the ideal boy? How will he act? 
What will he avoid ? How will he act towards 
his sister? 

8. How will a sister act towards her 
brother? What can she do for him? 

9. How will polite children act towards the 
servants ? 

10. How do you begin the day with God? 
What should you see to before going to school? 
What should be done upon your return from 
school? What must you observe regarding 
study and home work? What is said about 
spitting? about yawning? about sneezing? 



Extracts for Memorizing. 19 



What can you say about going to bed? about 
night prayers? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. "Home makes the man." — 8. Smiles. 

2. "The childhood shows the man, as morning 
shows the day." — Milton. 

3. "Family intimacy should never make broth- 
ers and sisters forget to be polite to each 
other." — Silvio Pellico. 

4. "Those who contract thoughtless and rude 
habits towards the members of their own 
families, will be rude and thoughtless to- 
ward all the world." — Id. 

5. "Let the family interest be true, tender, and 
affectionate, and the manners of all uni- 
formly gentle and considerate, and the 
members of a family thus trained will carry 
into the world and society the habits of 
their childhood." — Id. 

6. "Kind hearts are the gardens, 

Kind thoughts are the roots, 
Kind words are the blossoms, 
Kind deeds are the fruits." 



Extracts e^or Memorizing. 



"Better than gold is a peaceful home 
Where all the fireside characters come, 
The shrine of love, the heaven of life, 
Hallowed by mother, or sister, or wife. 
However humble the home may be, 
Or tried w T ith sorrow by Heaven's decree, 
The blessings that never were bought or sold, 
And center there, are better than gold." 

"For still in mutual sufferance lies 

The secret of true living; 
Love scarce is love, that never knows, 

The sweetness of forgiving." — Whittier. 



Good Manners at Table. 21 



CHAPTER II. 

Good Manners at Table 

1. Grace. — " Whether you eat or drink/' says 
St. Paul, "do all for the glory of God." (1 
Cor., x, 31.) These words of the apostle teach 
us that we should sit down to our meals with 
a pure intention, that is, for the purpose of 
keeping up the strength of our body, so that we 
may be able to do our daily work according to 
God's holy will; they, moreover, remind us 
that we must never omit to say our prayers be- 
fore and after meals. In good Christian fam- 
ilies these prayers are said aloud; should this, 
however, not be the case, we must never begin 
our meal, whether at home or abroad, without 
at least a silent prayer. 

2. Time. — It is necessary for the health of 
the body, that we should have regular hours for 
taking our meals. Some children have the 
habit of eating between meals. This is very 
harmful: it weakens the stomach, and is often 



22 Good Manners at Table. 



the cause of much sickness. Besides, a good 
Christian child frequently avoids satisfying its 
appetite in order to strengthen the soul in vir- 
tue, and to become more like the Child Jesus, 
who often suffered hunger and thirst out of 
love for us. 

3. How to Eat. — We must try to acquire a 
polite and refined manner of taking our meals. 
In order to acquire such manners, we must be- 
gin to observe them whilst we are young. We 
must always practice them at home, otherwise 
we shall appear awkward, and shall often fail 
against good manners when Ave are in com- 
pany. Young people must observe closely, 
without seeming to be curious, both the lan- 
guage and the manners of those who know the 
rules of good society. 

4. Sitting. — You should sit comfortably 
close to the table, that is, neither too near, nor 
yet so far away as to be obliged to sit on the 
edge of the chair, or to lean forward. 

When you are a guest, do not choose your 
place, but when it is pointed out to you by your 
host, accept it with a slight bow and a "Thank 
you." Young gentlemen should never be 
seated until the older members of the company 



Good Manners at Table. 23 



and the ladies have taken their places. Do 
not delay the meal by coming too late, nor 
weary the guests by obliging them to wait until 
you have finished. 

When you have finished your meal, sit 
straight, and never tilt your chair back upon 
two legs, nor place your feet on the rungs of 
the chair. It is not polite to sit sideways, nor 
to hang an arm over the back of the chair. Do 
not rise from the table before the members of 
the company do so. If it becomes necessary to 
rise before the meal is over, always beg to be 
excused. 

5. Napkin. — When seated, unfold your nap- 
kin and let it fall over your thigh. Do not tuck 
it under your chin, or spread it upon your 
breast, or over your lap. When necessary, and 
generally before drinking from a glass, draw 
the napkin across the lips neatly, but never use 
it to wipe the perspiration from the face. 

Should you have to cough or sneeze, apply 
the napkin to your face and turn your head 
from the table. Try to avoid blowing the nose 
or clearing the throat during the meal ; should 
this become necessary, however, it is proper to 
leave the table. 



24 



Good Manners at Table. 



Do not, as a guest, fold your napkin, but, 
when you rise, place it loosely upon the table. 

6. Hands. — If your hands are not perfectly 
clean, be sure to wash them before sitting down 
to your meal. When the hands are not occu- 
pied, they should be kept above the cloth, or 
lie quietly in the lap. Never place your elbows 
on the table, and always keep them out of reach 
of others, especially when you are engaged in 
cutting your food. 

7. Serving. — If you wish to have anything, 
always ask for it, but never reach across an- 
other's plate to help yourself. If there be a 
servant at hand, apply to the servant; if not, 
ask politely of your neighbor to pass the dish. 
When a servant or waiter hands you a dish, 
help yourself directly, without taking the dish ; 
however, when it is handed by one of the 
guests, take the dish before serving yourself, 
unless the person offers to assist in holding it. 
When asked to pass a dish, do not shove it 
along the table, but lift it, and offer to assist 
in holding it. 

When helping yourself, take the portion 
that is nearest to you. Be careful to raise it 



Good Manners at Table. 25 



with the fork or spoon, and never slide it over 
the edge of the dish. 

At your own table, be attentive to the wants 
of others, and quietly offer to supply them. 
Remember especially to wait on old people and 
children. Never force your friends to eat and 
drink; it is rude to insist, if a guest does not 
wish to partake of any particular article of 
food. It is polite, before and after a meal, to 
offer guests an opportunity to w T ash their 
hands. 

8. Eating. — It is proper to begin eating as 
soon as you are served. Await your turn to 
be served, without ever seeming to be in great 
haste. Dessert should not be eaten till all are 
served. Eat slowly and quietly. Proper mas 
tication is as necessary to good digestion as it 
is to refinement of manners. Do not fill your 
mouth with food, nor attempt to speak or laugh 
until you have swallowed it. Do not chew the 
food so as to be heard. Persons who have ac- 
quired polite habits take only a small morsel 
at a time. They never try to get the last drop 
of soup, nor the last bit of food on the plate. 
If, for any reason, you pause during the meal, 
do not rest the tip of the knife or fork on the 



26 



Good Manners at Table. 



edge of the plate ; both should be placed wholly 
on the plate. At the end of the meal, place 
the knife and fork side by side on the plate. 

9. Drinking. — When you desire to drink 
you may, without being* considered impolite, 
help yourself. If someone offers to serve you, 
raise your glass, holding it in the right ha ad. 
and do not fail to thank the person that offers 
the drink. If you are waited on by a servant, 
do not raise the glass from the table. Never 
take the glass of another into your hand, when 
offering to serve" a drink. 

Do not urge anyone to drink, nor ever drink 
more than you need. It is an approved rule of 
health to drink but little during the meal. Do 
not bend your head forward nor backward 
when drinking, nor raise your glass higher 
than necessary. 

10. Conversation. — Cheerful conversation is 
good for digestion as well as for enjoyment : 
you must therefore avoid saying anything that 
is painful or disagreeable. Always be quiet 
when others are speaking, and rather allow 
them a chance to lead in conversation. 

Do not turn your back to one person whilst 
speaking to another. Never keep up a conver- 



Good Manners at Table. 



27 



sation by speaking across the person seated 
next to you. 

You must never have your mouth so full that 
you cannot talk at any time. A portion of 
meat, vegetable or dessert should never be 
taken up by the fork, and held in the air whilst 
talking. Do not play with the knife or fork, 
nor make any motions with these in your 
hand. Be careful not to speak of what you 
prefer, nor of your liking for a certain dish. 

When asking for anything, do not whisper, 
but speak loud enough to be distinctly heard, 
and say, "Please," or, "I would thank you for," 
or, "Will you be kind enough?" etc. Accept 
anything that is handed to you with "Thank 
you!" or, if you do not wish to accept, "Not 
any, I thank you!" 

11. Knife. — The knife is held in the right 
hand. It is used only for cutting food, and 
not for carrying it to the mouth. 

Do not use the knife for loading up the fork, 
and do not put it into the butter-dish or any 
other dish. A butter-knife is generally placed 
in the butter-dish; if not, clean your knife on 
a piece of bread before taking butter. 

Use the tip of your knife for taking salt or 



28 



Good Manners at Table. 



pepper. Never use your fingers, nor the handle 
of the fork or spoon. 

12. Fork.— The fork is shifted to the right 
hand when the knife is laid aside, and, like the 
latter, is held in the palm of the hand. When 
eating meat, as one morsel is to be cut at a 
time, the fork may be kept in the left hand, 
while the knife is held in the right. When 
eating vegetables, however, it is proper to take 
the fork in the right hand, holding the end be- 
tween the thumb and the two forefingers, some- 
what in the manner in which a dentist holds 
his tools. Do not stab with the fork, or grasp 
the handle as though it were a dagger. 

Use the fork not only for fish, vegetables and 
made dishes, but for ices and frozen puddings, 
melons and salads as well. Oysters, clams and 
lobsters are also eaten with the fork. Do not 
take more on the fork than it can easily carry, 
and only one kind of food at a time, being 
careful to swallow the one morsel before tak- 
ing another. Never mash the food between the 
prongs of the fork. If you pass your plate for 
a second helping, leave the knife and fork on 
the plate, or if not convenient, lay them by in 
such a manner as not to soil the table cloth. 



Good Manners at Table. 



29 



Do not eject bits of bone or other substances 
by spitting them back into the plate. Quiet- 
ly place them upon the fork or spoon, held to 
the lips, and then put them on the plate. Fruit- 
stones or fish-bones may be removed from the 
mouth by the fingers. Never use your own 
fork to take food from a dish. 

13. Spoon. — Articles of food that cannot be 
lifted with the fork are eaten with the spoon, 
such as : grape-fruit and fruit-salads, small and 
large fruits when served with cream, hot pud- 
dings and custards, jellies, porridge and pre- 
serves, hard and soft boiled eggs. 

Never allow the spoon to stand in the coffee, 
tea or bouillon cup while drinking. Stir the 
liquid once or twice, without noise, sip a spoon- 
ful to try it, lay the spoon in the saucer, and 
then drink directly from the cup. 

When eating soup, use the side and not the 
end of the spoon. If the soup be too hot, pass 
the spoon through it slowly until it is cool 
enough, but never blow upon it nor break your 
bread into it. 

14. Tooth-pick. — Never pick your teeth at 
table, except it be necessary for a moment to 



30 



Good Manners at Table. 



remove some obstacle. If so, place your hand 
or napkin before your mouth, so that it will 
not be noticed. It is not a mark of good man- 
ners to walk through the streets with a tooth- 
pick in your mouth. 

15. Accidents. — Be not disquieted at acci- 
dents or blunders. If you drop your knife or 
fork, quietly ask for another. Should any one 
break a dish or spill a glass, do not seem to 
notice it, unless you can help to repair the 
mischief in a way not to attract attention. If 
you find anything unpleasant or unsuitable in 
the food, put it quietly aside so that others 
may not notice it. If grease or jelly should 
drop on your clothes, remove it with the corner 
of your napkin, but not with your knife: 
neither scrape up a bit of butter or a fragment 
of fowl that has accidentally fallen on the 
table cloth. 

16. Bad Habits. — Only the uneducated swal- 
low their food hastily, strike their spoon, fork 
or glass against their teeth, suck up a liquid 
from their spoon, clash knives and forks 
against their plates, scrape the bottom of a 
cup, plate or glass to get a last morsel, chew 
with their mouths open, or smack their lips 



Questions for Review. 



31 



when chewing, pat the top of a pepper-pot, 
and drum on a knife-blade in order to distrib- 
ute salt on meat or vegetables. 

Nervous and bashful persons fidget, they do 
not sit squarely or firmly at table, their chairs 
are slanted. They play with crumbs of bread, 
making little figures or small balls. 

Study to avoid these unbecoming and un- 
gentlemanly habits, and try to acquire a quiet 
and polite manner of taking j our meals. 



Questions for Review 

1. What does St. Paul say in regard to eat- 
ing and drinking? With what intention should 
we sit down to our meals? What must we 
never forget? 

2. What can you say about the time for 
taking meals? What bad habit is frequently 
found among children? Why is it harmful? 
What will a good Christian child often deny it- 
self, and why? 

3. When must we begin to observe manners 
at table? What must we do to this effect? 
What must young people observe? 



32 



Questions for Review. 



4. How should we sit at table? When 
does a guest take his place? When do young 
gentlemen seat themselves? What is said 
about delaying the meal? What must you 
avoid when you have finished your meal? When 
should you rise? 

5. Where do you place the napkin? How 
is it used? What must you try to avoid? 
Where is it placed on rising from the table? 

6. What is to be observed regarding the 
hands and elbows? 

7. What must you do if you wish to have 
anything? In what manner do you help your- 
self when a dish is passed by a servant ? by one 
of the guests ? How do you pass a dish ? What 
must you observe when helping yourself? To 
what must you attend at your own table? 

8. When is it proper to begin eating? How 
should we eat? What can you say about speak- 
ing or laughing? about the last drop, etc.? 
Where should the knife and fork be placed? 

9. What can you say about helping your- 
self to a drink? about being served by a guest 
or a servant? How much may you drink, and 
what must you avoid? 

10. What is said about conversation at 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



33 



table? What must be avoided? Of what must 
you not speak? How do you ask for anything? 

11. What is the knife used for? What 
must the knife not be used for? 

12. How is the fork used? What is it used 
for? What must you avoid when using the 
fork? How must bits of bone, etc., be re- 
moved ? 

13. What is the spoon used for? How is 
the teaspoon used? .How is the tablespoon 
used? 

14. When and how may a tooth-pick be 
used? 

15. What can you say about accidents at 
table? 

16. Mention some of the bad habits to be 
avoided? How do bashful and nervous per- 
sons act? 



Extracts for Memorizing 

1. Well-mannered people consult the wishes 
of others rather than their own. 

2. Good manners, like good words, cost 
nothing, and are worth everything. 



34 Extracts for Memorizing. 



3. The "good condition" of a family de- 
pends to a great degree upon the true polite- 
ness of its several members. 

4. Good manners are made up of petty sac- 
rifices. Temperance, courage, love, are made 
up of the same jewels. — Emerson. 

5. Too much is a vanity; enough is a feast. 
— Quarles. 

6. Never add artificial heat to the body by 
wine or spice until thou findest that time hath 
decayed thy natural heat. — Sir Walter Raleigh. 

7. The stomach is a slave that must accept 
everything that is given to it, but which 
avenges wrongs as slyly as does the slave. 

8. Many dishes bring many diseases. — 
Pliny. 

9. Eeason should direct and appetite obey. 
— Cicero. 

10. The pleasures of the palate deal with 
us like Egyptian thieves who strangle those 
whom they embrace. — Seneca. 



A Code of Table Manners. 35 



CHAPTER III. 

A Code of Table Manners 

1. Fingers. — At dinner a roll is often placed 
in the napkin of each guest. The roll is taken 
out, and laid on the table-cloth, at the right 
side of the plate. Never cut up the bread or 
roll, nor bite off a mouthful, but break it in 
pieces as needed, spread on it a bit of butter, 
and carry it with the fingers to the mouth. 
Crackers and cake are eaten in the same way, 
though cake may sometimes be eaten with the 
fork. 

Cheese is cut in bits, placed on morsels of 
bread or biscuit, and lifted with the fingers to 
the lips. It is usually served with salad. 

Celery is eaten with the fingers. It is gen- 
erally dipped in a little salt placed on the edge 
of the plate. Radishes, olives, artichokes and 
all raw fruits, except berries and melons, are 
likewise eaten with the fingers. 

2. Vegetables. — Vegetables in general are 



36 A Code of Table Manners. 



eaten with the fork. Cucumbers are served 
with fish, and are taken on the same plate. 

Asparagus is not taken with the fingers, 
though it may be allowed to do so in private. 
In company, use the fork, and cut off the 
points of the asparagus with the end of the 
prongs. The stalk or white part is not eaten. 

Salad is eaten with the fork, though salad 
undressed may be eaten with the fingers. When 
radishes are served, put them on your bread 
and butter-plate, and eat them with a little 
salt. 

When corn on the cob is served in polite so- 
ciety, you must remove the grains of the corn 
with a fork, or with your knife and fork, and 
never eat it off the cob. By holding one end 
with your napkin, you can pass your fork 
down the furrow of the grains, and they will 
easily fall off. Corn is generally served on a 
white napkin. Ordinarily you may help your- 
self to the ear with your fingers. 

3. Fruit. — Fruit must be pared or peeled 
with a knife. Peaches, apples and pears are 
quartered, peeled, cut in mouthfuls, and the 
pieces then eaten with the fingers. 

Plums, grapes and the like are eaten one by 



A Code op Table Manners. 



37 



one, the pits being dropped into the half-closed 
hand and then laid on the plate. 

Oranges are quartered and peeled. The seeds 
are then pressed out, and each quarter cut 
twice forms a suitable mouthful. 

Cantaloupes are served cut in half, and may 
be eaten with a small spoon. Salt is generally 
used with them, but sugar is allowable. 

Grape-fruit is served as a first course, and is 
eaten with a spoon. Pineapples are to be 
eaten with a fork. Strawberries are sometimes 
served with the stems on, the sugar and cream 
being passed around and taken on the dessert 
plate. 

4. Finger-bowl. — When the finger-bowl is 
used, it is half filled with water and set upon a 
plate, on which a small doily lies. This plate 
is to receive the fruit, unless another plate is 
served. When the fruit is finished, each hand 
in turn is dipped into the water and dried with 
the napkin on the knee. 

5. Condiments. — Sugar is taken with the 
sugar-spoon, which you must never dip into 
your tea or coffee. Lump sugar is taken with 
the sugar-tongs ; however, if there be no tongs, 
the fingers may be used. 



38 A Code of Table Manners. 



It is vulgar to thrust your knife-point into 
a large salt-dish. Use a small salt-spoon, and 
place the salt on the edge of your plate, and 
not on the table-cloth. 

6. Soup. — The soup-spoon will be on the 
knife side of your plate. If the soup cannot 
well be eaten from the side of the spoon, do 
not put more than the point of the spoon into 
your mouth. The motion of the hand guiding 
the spoon is toward and not from you. How- 
ever, in some places, the contrary custom pre- 
vails. In this, as in similar cases, where cus- 
tom allows one way or another, you must ob- 
serve the manner of those in whose company 
you are, and do likewise. 

Do not ask for a second service of soup. Be 
careful not to drop your head at each spoonful 
you take. Try to keep an upright position 
without appearing stiff. Never tilt your plate 
to get the last drop of soup. 

7. Fish. — When eating fish, the knife and 
fork may be used, if necessary, to separate the 
flesh from the bones. The fish is then eaten 
with a fork. 

8. Poultry. — Chicken and game (and chop 
bones as well) are never taken up with the 



A Code of Table Manners. 



39 



fingers. Cut the meat from the bones, and then 
eat it with the fork. 

9. Eggs. — If egg-cups are used, place the 
egg in the cup, with the large end uppermost. 
Cut off the top of the egg with a stroke of the 
knife, and eat it from the shell with a small 
egg-spoon. 

10. Nuts. — Never use your teeth to crack a 
nut, nor hammer upon it with the handle of 
the knife. Use the nut-cracker, or, if there be 
none, try to open the nut with the blade of the 
knife. 



40 Good Manners at School. 



CHAPTER IV. 

Good Manners at School 

1. The School. — When we first leave home it 
is to enter school. From that day we become 
acquainted with a great number of compan- 
ions ; and, whilst we find it necessary to depend 
more upon ourselves, we must, at the same 
time, learn to consider the rights of others. 
Above all, we must understand that the teach- 
ers now take the place of our parents. As to 
our companions, w T e must observe the Golden 
Rule: "Do unto others as you vyould have 
them do unto you" This is the foundation 
upon which we must build our politeness and 
good manners. 

2. The Teacher. — Good Christian children 
will always look upon their teachers as God's 
representatives. All authority comes from 
God, and thus teachers are appointed by God 
to lead our souls in the path of virtue, to in- 
struct our minds in useful knowledge, and to 



Good Manners at School. 



41 



train our hearts to the love and service of God. 
This being the teacher's duty, it follows that 
we must, in the first place, be willing to be 
guided by them. We must follow their advice 
and instruction, we must obey their commands 
whether we like to or not, and we must submit 
even to their punishments, when we have failed 
in our duty. With this end in view, we must 
begin by being polite, courteous and respectful 
towards our teachers. 

3. The School-room. — On entering the school- 
room, polite pupils will close the door quietly, 
and after respectfully taking holy w T ater at 
the font and making the sign of the cross, will 
go to the teacher and say, "Good morning, 
Brother," or, "Good morning, Sister." They 
will then carefully hang up hats and other ar- 
ticles of clothing, and place their books in the 
desk in proper order. When taking their seats, 
they will bid their desk-mates "Good morning," 
and then, without making any noise, will begin 
to review their lessons for the day. 

Boys must not forget to take off their hats 
before entering the school-room, and, when 
leaving, they must not put them on before they 
are out of the door. When meeting any of the 



42 Good Manners at School. 



teachers on the stairs or in the corridors of the 
school, always salute them respectfully. When 
meeting any of the teachers on the stairs, stop 
at the nearest landing, or step aside to let them 
pass. 

±. Prayer. — What will it avail us to be po- 
lite towards others, if we omit our first duty 
towards God ? The Holy Ghost says : "Before 
prayer, prepare your hearts." We must, there- 
fore, leave all study, conversation, or any other 
occupation at the first signal for prayer, and 
reflect for a moment on the important action 
that we are about to perforin. 

When we pray we speak to God, we ask His 
blessing on our work, we beg His grace to avoid 
sin. We must then take a respectful position, 
stand erect on both feet, or kneel on both 
knees, and, above all, think of what we are 
saying. To pray without attention is a sinful 
carelessness, which can not bring upon us 
God's blessing. At the close, do not sit down 
before you have made the sign of the cross 
with care and attention. 

.5. Recitation. — When called upon to recite 
a lesson, rise at once, stand straight with your 
head erect, and face the teacher. Do not lean 



Good Manners at School. 43 



against the desk, or place one knee upon the 
seat, or look about for assistance either from a 
neighbor or from a book. Fold your arms, or 
let your hands hang down in a natural position, 
but never put them into your pockets. Speak 
loud enough to be heard by the entire class, 
neither too fast, nor in a slow and drawling 
manner. 

If you have not understood the question, ask 
politely: "Please repeat the question?-' It is 
rude and vulgar to say: "What?" or "Hey?" 
If the answer required be simply "yes" or "no," 
never fail to say : "Yes, sir," or "No, Brother," 
"Yes, Sister," or "No, Rev. Father." 

It is very impolite to raise your hand or 
snap your finger whilst the teacher is speaking. 
Never laugh at the mistakes of others, or at 
their odd manner of speech, especially if they 
be new pupils. 

6. Visitors. — If the teacher should happen 
to be disturbed by a visitor, it would be ex- 
tremely unkind and ill-mannered for any one 
to take advantage of this to misbehave. Polite 
and diligent pupils will not stare at a stranger, 
but will show respect to the teacher and to the 
visitor, by quietly taking up a book, and em- 



44 



Good Manners at School. 



ploying their time in a useful way, without 
waiting to be told. 

If the visitor be a priest, the class will rise 
in a body and salute him with the customary 
salutation. All will stand erect, without mov- 
ing about, or trying to continue some work, 
until he gives them a sign to be seated. If he 
intends to stay for some time, to witness the 
work of the class, a polite pupil will rise and 
offer him a chair and a book. When a visitor 
is about to leave, the pupil nearest the door 
may rise and open the door, making a slight 
bow to the visitor as he or she passes out. 
When a priest leaves the room, the pupils all 
rise and salute him as before. 

7. Play-ground. — There is perhaps no time 
during the day when boys and girls show them- 
selves for just what they are, as they do when 
they are amusing themselves. Some young 
people always get angry in their play. These 
make themselves very disagreeable to their 
companions. Some are selfish and always want 
to have their own way ; no matter what others 
prefer, everything must be just as they say. 
The boy and girl of good temper and polite 
manners will meet all the chances of the play 



Good Manners at School. 



45 



pleasantly. They thereby show great self-com- 
mand, which is necessary for acquiring any 
virtue, and thus they fit themselves more and 
more to take part in the great game of life. 

8. Regularity. — The school-room is the pu- 
pils' place of business, hence both order and 
good manners require of them to be punctual 
and regular in attendance. Pupils who come 
late, waste their time, cause disturbance, and 
interrupt all other pupils at their work. If, 
for some good reason, you cannot help being 
late, go to the teacher at once, beg to be ex- 
cused for the disturbance, and mention the 
cause of your tardiness. 

Those who are habitually tardy and irregu- 
lar will never acquire that ambition and love 
for study which is so necessary for success at 
school, and in after-life as well. Every one 
likes to see pupils who are ambitious to know 
their lessons perfectly, and to earn a good place 
in class. This kind of ambition makes play 
even of the hardest work, whilst the lack of 
it will make work even of play. 

9. Self-respect. — Without self-respect there 
can be no true politeness. Those who respect 
themselves will never stoop to what is mean 



46 



Good Manners at School. 



and dishonorable. They will be ashamed to 
appear in the company of such companions as 
are lazy, rough and ill-bred, or of such as mis- 
behave in public, or insult people in the streets. 
They will have nothing to do with pupils that 
are impolite, passionate, or immoral. 

Choose for your friends those whom you can 
respect, and always act so that you yourself 
may deserve the respect of your friends and 
companions. Boys and girls who are honest 
and polite, to whose honor and kindness you 
may trust, these are worthy of respect. 

Self-respect will show itself in the care we 
take of our books and clothes, and especially in 
regard to the tasks and written work that is to 
be examined by the teacher. Polite pupils will 
never hand in a task that is soiled or spotted, 
or a copy book that is twisted and bent by 
being carelessly strapped; much less will they 
hand the teacher a torn or soiled sheet of pa- 
per. 

Pupils that respect themselves will never 
cheat, nor copy an exercise from another. 

10. Courtesy. — Courtesy towards others 
shows a certain respect for their person. We 
have seen that we should respect ourselves: it 



Good Manners at School. 



47 



is hardly less important to show respect to 
others. Children, even in their play, should be 
courteous and obliging to one another. One 
who is always pushing for the best in every- 
thing, without regard to others, shows ill- 
breeding and a want of manners. 

Courtesy makes us thoughtful in assisting 
one another, in helping the teacher, handing 
anything that is needed, cleaning the black- 
boards, picking up an article that may have 
been dropped, etc. A courteous child will pick 
up another's book or pencil, that may be lying 
about, and will return it to the owner, who in 
turn will not fail to thank for the kindness. 

Thoughtfulness is shown for one who is 
weaker than the rest, or who is a newcomer, 
or whom, for any reason, others may neglect. 
When newcomers enter the class, kind and 
thoughtful pupils will try to make them feel 
at home, will help them to become acquainted, 
will tell them about the regulations of the 
school, ask them to join in their games, etc., 
but will never stare at them, or laugh at their 
defects or their ways of acting. 

11. Cleanliness. — Respect for one's self is 
shown in neatness and cleanliness, and these 



48 



Good Manners at School. 



go far to win the respect of others. Children 
that are neat and clean bring honor to their 
families, to their teachers, and to their school ; 
whilst those that come to school with soiled 
hands or faces, with hair in disorder and torn 
clothes, bring shame upon themselves and upon 
their families. 

Polite and orderly children will be neat in 
their clothes, will have them carefully brushed, 
their collars clean and their shoes polished. 
However poorly clad, they will be clean, modest 
and simple in their manner of dressing; they 
will not wear the hat on the back of the head, 
or on one side, nor down over the eyes. 

Cleanliness must likewise be observed in re- 
gard to our books. Those who do not keep 
their hands clean, will soon have soiled books 
and copies. These show at a glance, how much 
of true politeness and cleanliness a pupil pos- 
sesses. Always keep your books as neat as 
possible. Children that love order will have 
their books covered, will write their name and 
address on the inside cover or fly-leaf, and will 
have a card or book mark, so that they will 
never turn down the corners of the leaves. 
Careless and disorderly children will have 



Good Manners at School. 49 



soiled books, with leaves worn and torn out; 

writing and drawing, and coloring of pictures 

will disfigure the pages; covers will be cracked 

and torn, from tight strapping and careless 

handling. All such disorders spoil the taste 

for the beautiful, produce a dislike for study, 

and above all, they tell at a glance, that the 

owner is careless, disorderly and impolite. 

12. Order. — To be orderly in everything is 

the mark of a polite and well-trained child. 

Order and politeness, therefore, go hand in 

hand. They forbid us to throw paper, fruit, or 

anything unsightly on the floor, on the steps, 

in the hallways, or on the play-grounds, to spit 

on the floor, or to deface the furniture or the 

buildings, by scratching or cutting, or by chalk 

and pencil marks. Polite children will never 

be seen writing their names on the sidewalks 

or on the corners of buildings, etc. There is an 

old proverb which says : 

"The names of fools are like their faces: 
They're always seen in public places." 

In your desk have a place for each book and 
copy, and have everything in its proper place. 
This will save you much time and trouble, and 
will teach you habits of order. 



50 Good Manners at School. 



Have order in your personal habits, so thai 
you shall not be obliged to leave the class-room 
during school-hours; it is impolite to disturb 
the class in this way, unless it cannot be fore- 
seen. When leaving the room, walk slowly 
and quietly, do not stop to disturb a comrade, 
and be sure to open and close the door without 
noise. 

13. Attention, — When the teacher claims 
attention, leave everything out of your fingers 
at once. Do not play with a pencil or pen, or 
anything else, for this annoys and disturbs the 
teacher and prevents you from paying atten- 
tion. Whenever your hands are not occupied, 
leave them in repose upon the desk, or fold 
your arms. 

Never interrupt one who is speaking, nor re- 
ply to a question that is not addressed to you. 
Never be so rude as to allow yourself any other 
occupation, such as reading, or studying some 
other lesson, whilst the teacher requires your 
attention. It would be very impolite and un- 
kind to disturb another by tickling, or pushing, 
or in in any other way. 

If an explanation has not been understood, 
you may, and even should, ask the teacher to 



Good Manners at School. 



51 



repeat it, by saving: "Please excuse me, but 
I did not understand the explanation/' or, 
"Would you please repeat the part I did not 
understand?" Never ask to leave the room 
whilst the teacher is giving an explanation. 

14. Conversation. — Don't use slang, or such 
meaningless expressions as : O cracky ! Gee 
whiz ! Golly ! etc. Never talk overloud, nor 
try to "have all to say." A polite pupil will 
never take part in a heated dispute or quarrel. 
If your companions will not give in, show them 
that you have better manners and more sense, 
by being silent. 

• Never make yourself the hero of your own 
story, nor speak about your own talents, nor 
what you have done and are going to do. When 
others are speaking, do not interrupt them in 
the middle of their story nor try to correct 
them by appearing to know better. 

Try to be kind and polite in your speech. A 
"Thank you" and a "Please" on proper occa- 
sions should be used even among the closest 
companions. 

15. Temper. — We must be thoughtful to 
distinguish between what is meant and what is 
accidental. A dog will often show no anger if 



52 Good Manners at School. 



some one treads on it by accident, and yet we 
find children of such ugly dispositions, that 
they show an angry temper in the most trifling 
matters. Such children are, as a rule, very 
proud, and are generally some of the most stu- 
pid pupils of the class. 

To give a blow to our neighbor (not to speak 
of a kick) is one of the greatest insults, and it 
generally arises from anger that is not con- 
trolled, or from a low spirit of revenge. A 
good and polite child will never return a blow, 
but will show r its virtue and manliness by hav- 
ing the true courage to suffer the insult as 
Jesus our Divine Model did wiien He was so 
unjustly struck in the face. 

Never tease or make fun of another for the 
sake of amusing yourself or others. This is 
very uncharitable, and is forbidden by the law 
of God : "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thy- 
self." Besides, it may make the neighbor angry 
and we would then be guilty of his sin. It is 
very unkind, and the sign of a bad heart, to 
laugh at the faults and defects of another. 

As to others, their rudeness ought not to pre- 
vent us from being polite to them; this is, in 
fact, the best way to correct them. When at 



Good Manners at School. 53 



play, be careful not to show ill-temper if the 
game goes against you; and, in general, don't 
be glum or sullen if things do not go according 
to your liking. 

16. General Behavior. — During school hours, 
politeness requires you to be silent, and to 
avoid everything that might disturb others. 
Never talk with your schoolmates, nor make 
signs or send notes to them. 

Always keep an upright position, with hands 
above, and never below the desk. Do not cross 
your legs, nor stretch them out in the aisle. 
Never support your head upon your hand, rest- 
ing the elbow on your desk or on that of an- 
other. 

Avoid all low, vulgar actions, such as grum- 
bling, stamping or scraping the feet on the 
floor, calling out to another, or throwing any- 
thing across the room. 

Eating or chewing in the school-room is al- 
ways considered bad form. He who eats when- 
ever he feels an inclination, besides ruining his 
health, may justly be regarded as a glutton. 

Never laugh except at the right time, and 
then be moderate. As to the time to laugh, 
let reason and common sense be your guide. 



54 



Good Manners at School. 



Boisterous laughter is rude, and meaningless 
laughter is stupid. Avoid the habit of smiling 
or "grinning" at nothing. People who laugh 
at everything are generally capable of nothing. 

It is very unmannerly to run about in the 
class-room, or to jump through or over the 
benches; and it is besides an act of cowardice 
and of hateful hypocrisy to do anything of the 
kind in the absence of the teacher. 

17. Bad Habits. — There are bad habits 
which are contrary to good manners, and which 
every polite pupil will avoid. We must avoid 
being too sensitive, or getting angry at jokes 
that are played on us. We must never indulge 
in teasing, or in that kind of fun that gives 
pain to another. 

Never call from the outside to a pupil in the 
room, nor from a window to a comrade outside. 
Never look in at the windows of another class. 
Avoid whistling, whispering, loud study, shout- 
ing, noisy walking, or slamming of doors. In 
the dressing room, avoid crowding and push- 
ing; wait for your turn and assist others in 
putting on coats and wraps. 

Never drop heavily on your seat, nor sit on 
the desk with your feet on the seat. Never sit 



Questions for Review. 



55 



on the table or in the teacher's chair, nor touch 
anything on the teacher's desk. 

Do not occupy more than your share of the 
desk, nor spoil the ink by dropping anything 
into the ink well. 

It is extremely vulgar to spit on the floor; 
if you must spit, go to the spittoon, or use 
your handkerchief. 

Do not trim your nails or comb your hair in 
public. This should be attended to in private. 

Be sure to provide yourself with books, pens, 
paper, ruler, and whatever is necessary for 
your work in class, and never depend on fellow- 
pupils to supply you. 

An honest pupil will never think of taking 
what belongs to another, or of borrowing any- 
thing without the knowledge or consent of 
the owner. 



Questions for Review 

1. What is said about companions? about 
teachers? What do we owe them? Repeat the 
Golden Rule. 



56 



Questions for Review, 



2. Why are teachers appointed by God? 
What must we do? 

3. How do polite pupils enter the school- 
room? What must boys not forget? What is 
said about meeting teachers? 

4. What does the Holy Ghost say regarding 
prayer? How must we act before prayer? dur- 
ing prayer? at the close? 

5. What is said about recitation? about 
speaking? about asking and answering? What 
is very impolite? 

6. What can you say about visitors? what 
if the visitor be a priest? What is to be done 
when visitors leave? 

7. W T hat is said about the play-ground? 
How are some young people? What is said 
about good temper and polite manners? 

8. What can you say about regularity? 
about pupils who come late? about being ex- 
cused? about being habitually tardy and irreg- 
ular? about ambition and love for study? 

9. What is said of those who respect them- 
selves? Whom should you choose for your 
friends ? Who is worthy of respect ? How will 
self-respect show itself? What will polite pu- 
pils never do? 



Questions for Review. 



57 



10. What does courtesy show? How should 
children be? How does courtesy make us 
thoughtful? What will a courteous child do? 
How is thoughtfulness shown towards others? 

11. What can you say of children that are 
neat and clean? How will polite children be 
neat in their clothes, etc. ? What is said about 
cleanliness in regard to books? about the books 
of careless children? 

12. What do order and politeness forbid? 
What is said about writing names? about or- 
der in the desk? about order in your personal 
habits? 

13. What can you say about attention? the 
hands? interrupting? other occupations? dis- 
turbing others? explanations? 

14. What is said about slang? dispute? 
speaking about yourself? interrupting others? 
How should you try to be in speech? 

15. What can you say of an angry temper? 
How are such children? What is said of a 
blow or kick? How will a good and polite 
child act? What is said of teasing? of laugh- 
ing at the faults of others? of the rudeness of 
others? How should we act at play? 

16. How should we behave during school 

5 



58 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



hours? What can you say about positions? 
moving to and fro? crossing legs? supporting 
your head? What must we avoid? What about 
eating and chewing? about laughing? about 
grinning? running about? 

17. Which bad habits must we avoid? What 
is said about teasing? calling to another? the 
windows? the dressing room? the desk? the 
table? the teacher's desk? spitting on the 
floor? 



Extracts for Memorizing 

1. "If just ambition rightly rule 

The golden years you spend at school, 
You will not waste the measured power, 
Nor idly spend one precious hour. 

2. Then fill each hour with what will last; 
Buy up the moments as they go; 

The life above when this is past, 
Is the ripe fruit of life below." 

—W. C. Bryant, 

3. What considerate man can enter a school, 
and not reflect that it is a seminary where 
immortal minds are training for eternity? — 
E. Everett. 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



59 



4. Gentleness is the great point to be ob- 
tained in the study of manners. — N. P. Willis. 

5. A young person of even average talents, 
with refined manners and generous disposition, 
need never fear of making his mark in life. 

6. Self-respect gives dignity and indepen- 
dence to the character, but it must be harmon- 
ized by humility. 

7. Young people who have attained an 
agreeable manner and a courteous demeanor 
are already far ahead in the race of success, in 
whatever calling they may select for the em- 
ployment of their powers. — A. H. Green. 

8. Where there is kindliness of heart there 
will be the desire to treat others with that hap- 
py cordiality which is the soul of good breed- 
ing. 



60 Good Manners at Church. 



CHAPTER V. 

Good Manners at Church 

1. The House of God. — What great honors 
are bestowed upon kings and princes in their 
palaces, on account of their dignity and power ! 
We all agree that this is no more than right 
and just. But then how much greater must be 
the honor and respect due to God, who dwells 
in the church as in His own house ! The angels 
tremble in His presence and bow to the earth 
in adoration before the tabernacle where Jesus 
Christ Himself is enthroned. Here, then, is 
the place to think of the greatness and majesty 
of God, and of our own unworthiness to ap- 
pear before Him. Let us always enter the 
church humbly and modestly, and let our be- 
havior there be most polite and respectful. 

2. On the Way. — On the way to church, po- 
lite children will not run or be disorderly. 
They will show in their conduct, that they re- 
spect the house of God which they are about 



Good Manners at Church. 



61 



to enter. They will avoid all noise and loud 
talk, and will be silent when coming near the 
door of the church. It would be very impolite 
and disrespectful to play games, to run and 
shout in front of the church. 

Never stand in groups outside of the church, 
especially after the divine service has begun. 
It also shows a want of good manners to stand 
about the church-door when people are coming 
out. 

When the pupils go to church or return in 
a body, good manners require of you to be in 
your proper place in the ranks, and never to 
disturb the order by talking or playing, or by 
pushing others about. 

If politeness requires us to be punctual at 
table and at school, with how much more rea- 
son must we be punctual in regard to our 
duties towards God ! If we are in the habit of 
coming late to church, we not only disturb 
others in their devotion, but we also show that 
we care very little for the service of God and 
the practices of holy religion. 

3. Entering the Church. — Gentlemen and 
boys remove their hat before entering the 
door of the church. In rainy weather it is 



62 Good Manners at Church. 



proper for those who wear rain-coats to re- 
move these before entering. It would certainly 
be a sign of ill-breeding and carelessness to 
enter the church with muddy shoes, or with 
soiled and dusty clothes. We must likewise be 
careful, in the winter time, to shake off the 
snow from our shoes and clothing before enter- 
ing the door. 

We should enter the church quietly and re- 
spectfully, never losing sight of the thought 
that we are in the presence of God. We should 
then take holy water from the font with the 
tip of the middle finger, and make the sign of 
the cross with devotion, saying : "In the name 
of the Father who created me, and of the Son 
who redeemed me, and of the Holy Ghost who 
sanctified me. Amen." 

Our first look should be directed to the altar, 
to greet our dear Savior who is present there. 
Then we should walk slowly and quietly to our 
pew, bend the right knee to the floor, saying at 
the same time: "My Jesus, I adore Thee as 
my Lord." We then enter the pew without 
making any noise with our books, pencil-cases 
or the like, kneel and say a prayer before 
taking our seats. 



Good Manners at Church. 63 



Never be so selfish as to keep the first place 
in a pew, obliging others to pass by you in 
order to get to a place. It sometimes happens 
that a stranger takes a place that is reserved 
for the class. In such a case, a polite pupil 
will go to the person and say: "Would you 
kindly oblige us by taking another seat? This 
place is reserved for the class." 

If on entering the church, you pass one of 
the side altars, it is proper to bow your head, 
• as a mark of respect. If you pass before the 
tabernacle, bend the right knee to the ground, 
and then go into your pew without making an- 
other genuflection. When the Blessed Sacra- 
ment is exposed, always kneel on both knees 
and bow your head; this is to be observed if 
the Elevation or Communion of the mass is 
taking place when you enter. When making 
a genuflection, do not take hold of a pew, nor 
place your hand upon your left knee, but keep 
your body erect. 

4. In Church. — Do not salute acquaintances, 
nor speak with them in church. Before God's 
eternal majesty it is suitable for us only to be 
silent and to pray ; nor is it right for us to dis- 
turb others in their prayers. As soon as 



64 Good Manners at Church. 



you arrive at your place, kneel and make an 
act of faith in the real presence of God, and 
let this be followed by acts of adoration, love 
and thanksgiving to Jesus in the Blessed Sac- 
rament. If the service has not yet begun, you 
may then sit and continue your prayers, such 
as the Kosary for the Poor Souls, or some de- 
votion or pious reading from your prayer book. 

Whether you sit, stand or kneel, let your 
position always be respectful and edifying. 
Avoid spreading your knees, or kneeling on , 
one knee, or crossing the feet. Do not lie back 
against the seat nor prop up your head or chin, 
by resting your elbows upon the bench. When 
standing, have both feet resting on the floor, 
and do not rest your arms or . your body upon 
the bench. 

Do not forget that you are in the holy pres- 
ence of God. Talking and laughing, looking 
about curiously, spitting on the floor, eating or 
chewing, reading a paper or a book, and the 
like, would be inexcusable and sinful miscon- 
duct, and, as such, subject-matter for Confes- 
sion, as the Catechism teaches. Never look at 
your watch, nor yawn, nor sleep, and, in gen- 
eral, avoid all that might be a sign of weari- 



Good Manners at Church. 65 



ness. Do nothing that leads to distraction, 
and shows a cold heart, or want of piety. 

5. At Mass. — When the priest enters the 
sanctuary the faithful rise, to show their re- 
spect for God's representative, and for the 
great mystery that is about to take place on 
the altar. They kneel at the beginning of the 
mass, and from the Elevation until after Com- 
munion, and at the blessing of the priest. They 
stand at the two gospels, sit at the sermon, and 
whenever the priest seats himself. 

6. The Sermon. — Listen attentively to the 
gospel and the sermon, and avoid all unneces- 
sary disturbance, as coughing, blowing the 
nose, talking or laughing, looking about or 
moving restlessly to and fro. If you should 
happen to enter the church during the sermon, 
go quietly to the nearest seat, and remain there 
until the end of the sermon. It would be very 
impolite and insulting to the priest if you were 
to rise and leave the church at the beginning of 
the sermon. 

7. The Elevation. — The Elevation is the 
most solemn moment of the Mass. The faith- 
ful bow down in adoration before our Lord, 
who is really present upon the altar. During 



66 Good Manners at Church. 



this time, and immediately after, avoid every 
noise that might disturb the silence of the holy 
place. If you enter the church during the 
Elevation, (or the Benediction of the Blessed 
Sacrament), kneel at once, make your adora- 
tion, and wait until the sacred function is 
ended, before going to your place. 

8. Communion— If you intend to receive 
Holy Communion, lay aside your prayer book 
and rosary; then, folding your hands on your 
breast, with fingers pointing upward, walk 
slowly with eyes cast down, to the holy table. 
Do not hurry to get ahead of others, nor force 
your way between two persons who are kneel- 
ing close. If there are only a few communi- 
cants, go to the right-hand side of the com- 
munion rail. Return to your place in the 
same modest and respectful manner, and spend 
some time in meditation and prayer, without 
looking up or observing others. The thanks- 
giving after Holy Communion ought to last at 
least a quarter of an hour. 

9. Prayer. — If prayers are said in common, 
it is proper for all to join in, without dragging 
or hurrying the words, and to take a pitch of 
voice that is neither too high nor too low. If 



Good Manners at Church. 67 



all sing, join in; if not, then leave the singing 
to the choir. Single voices are disagreeable 
and disturb the faithful in their prayers. 

10. Confession. — If you are about to go to 
Confession, prepare yourself carefully, as 
though you were to confess your sins to God 
Himself, who knows the state of your soul. 
Frequently repeat the act of contrition. Then 
await your turn at the confessional, without 
pushing or trying to get ahead of others. It 
would be very impolite, and would show very 
little earnestness, if you were to laugh or make 
remarks to anyone. In the confessional, ad- 
dress the priest and answer his questions in 
polite and respectful language. After your 
confession return to your place modestly and 
quietly, make your thanksgiving and say your 
penance with attention and piety. 

11. Christian Doctrine. — In many places it 
is the custom to assemble the boys and girls 
in the church for the Sunday afternoon instruc- 
tion in Christian Doctrine. In such cases, 
children often forget that they are in the house 
of God. Polite and pious children, however, 
will enter the church in the same respectful 
manner as they would at any other time. They 



68 Good Manners at Church. 



will be present before the instruction begins, 
and will kneel and make their adoration de- 
voutly before being seated. They will pass the 
time before the instruction in saying some 
prayers, and will not play or look about, or 
talk with their neighbors. 

During the instruction they will listen atten- 
tively to the word of God, and, if called upon 
to answer a question, they will speak loud 
enough to be understood by all. Politeness, as 
well as respect for the priest of God, require 
this. • 

If, for a weighty reason, you are not able 
to attend at one of the instructions, make use 
of the first opportunity to excuse yourself, and 
respectfully state the reason of your absence 
to the priest in charge. 

12. The Choir. — The choir forms a part of 
the house of God, and we are in His holy pres- 
ence there as well as in any other part of the 
church. Those, who are privileged to sing the 
praises of God in the choir, perform the func- 
tions of the angels who sing His praises in 
heaven. It would be very impolite and disre- 
spectful to hurry up the stairs, or to rush nois- 
ily into the choir to secure a good place, to 



Questions for Review. 69 



stand in groups, to talk, or to wrangle and 
quarrel about the distribution of books and pa- 
pers. 

13. General Remarks. — Let your behavior in 
church be perfectly polite and respectful at all 
times. Whether you sit, or stand, or kneel, let 
your position always show that you respect 
the holy presence of God. Do not lean against 
a wall or a pillar, or aside of a pew. Avoid 
leaning on your elbow, and never have your 
hands in your pockets or on your back. Do not 
cross your legs when seated, and never look 
about to observe others. Avoid talking, laugh- 
ing, or making signs to others. It would be 
very rude to walk heavily, to spit upon the 
floor, or to make any useless noise by pushing 
the kneeling bench, and the like. All these 
things dishonor the holy place, disturb and 
scandalize the faithful, and lower the offending 
person in the eyes of all. 

Questions for Review 

1. How do the angels respect the house of 
God? What should be our thoughts and our 
behavior in church? 



70 Questions for Review. 



2. How will polite children act on the way 
to church? What will they avoid near the 
church? in front of the church? What is said 
about standing outside of the church? What 
do good manners require when pupils go to 
church or return in a body? Why should we 
be punctual? What is said about coming late? 

What do you observe upon entering the 
church regarding hats? rain-coats? shoes? 
clothing? How should we enter the church? 
take holy water? How should we walk? bend 
the knee? enter the pew? In what way should 
we not be selfish? How should we address a 
stranger in church? When should we bow the 
head? bend the knee? kneel on both knees? 
How should we make a genuflection? 

4. Should we salute acquaintances in 
church? What should you do on arriving at 
your seat? What should you do before the 
service has begun? What should be your posi- 
tion? What should you avoid? How should 
you stand? What would be sinful misconduct? 

5. When do the faithful rise? when kneel? 
When do they stand? when sit? 

6. What must you avoid during the ser- 



Questions for Review. 71 



mon? What is said about entering during the 
sermon? about leaving? 

7. What should be observed during the Ele- 
vation? What must you avoid? What must 
you do if you enter the church during this 
time? 

8. How do you go to the holy table? How 
should you act there? How should you re- 
turn? 

9. What is proper when prayers are said in 
common? What is said about singing? 

10. What is said about Confession? about 
awaiting your turn? about addressing the 
priest? about thanksgiving? 

11. What can you say about Christian Doc- 
trine? about entering the church? about the 
time before the instruction? How must you 
act during the instruction? when called upon 
to answer? when not able to attend? 

12. What is said about the choir? What 
must be avoided? 

13. What must you observe in church re- 
garding behavior? position? What must you 
avoid ? 



72 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



3. Oh! see upon the altar placed 

The victim of the greatest love! 
Let all the earth below adore, 

And join the choirs of heaven above. 

2. How little, oft, am I inclined 

To come and kneel where Jesus lives. 
How feebly I desire to find 

The blessing He so freely gives. 

3. "The angels tremble with amazement 
and fear when they approach the Majesty of 
Heaven hidden under the appearance of bread." 
— -St. John Chrysostom. 

4. "I have loved, O Lord, the beauty of Thy 
house and the place where Thy glory dwelleth." 
— Ps. xxv. 8. 



Good Manners in Public. 



73 



CHAPTER VI. 

Good Manners in Public 

1. General Appearance. — As a good tree is 
known by its fruit, and the fruit is judged by 
its appearance, so may we say, in truth, that 
people are known and judged by the manner in 
which they appear in public. We usually 
judge a man to be rich or poor, according to 
the clothes that he wears. We suppose one 
person to be healthy and robust, another to be 
sickly and weak, judging by their looks, their 
walk and general bearing. Again, when we 
meet a stranger, we naturally look at his face, 
for we feel instinctively that the face is the ex- 
pression of the soul, and that the leading habits 
and traits of character can be readily observed 
in the features. We listen to a person's con- 
versation for a few minutes and at once judge 
of the nature and extent of his education. All 
these are but exterior marks, yet we see that 
they give us a faithful picture of the man such 
as he is. 



6 



74 



Good Manners in Public. 



2. Necessity. — From the above remarks it is 
plain that good manners are necessary every- 
where, and at all times. We meet so many per- 
sons in public who observe our manners, and 
pass their judgment not merely upon ourselves, 
but also upon our home, our school, our friends 
and associates. If our behavior is polite, kind 
and gentle, people will have a good opinion of 
us, and of our parents and teachers as well, to 
whom they will justly ascribe the honor of 
having taught us good manners. On the con- 
trary, if we are rude in our ways, loud and 
boisterous in the streets, or careless and sloven- 
ly in our clothing, vulgar in our language, and 
the like, surely no one will feel any respect for 
us, and every observer will say, in his own 
mind if not to others, that our education has 
been neglected, that our friends and compan- 
ions are certainly not any better than our- 
selves, and therefore not at all respectable. 

3. The Countenance. — We read in the Holy 
Scriptures that "a man of good sense is known 
by his countenance." "The face," says an an- 
cient writer, "is the mirror of the soul, the 
interpreter of modesty, or a witness to the cor- 
ruption of the heart." In order to be agree- 



Good Manners in Public. 



75 



able, there ought to be nothing harsh or re- 
pulsive in the face, nothing savage or fierce. 
Cleanliness, especially of the face, ought to be 
a subject of special attention on the part of 
children. 

Modesty is the finest ornament of the coun- 
tenance. It is one of the most distinctive 
marks of a servant of God. When the heart is 
pure and elevated, the least unbecoming act or 
word provokes a blush, which is the sign of 
that delicacy of feeling which the vicious and 
hardened child is incapable of experiencing. 
When the countenance is almost constantly 
changing from an expression of pleasure to one 
of bad temper, it shows plainly that such a 
person allows himself to be led away by pas- 
sion, that he has little virtue, and that he is 
indifferent to his own happiness or to that of 
his friends. 

Politeness requires that young people shall 
learn to express the better emotions in their 
faces, and above all, that they shall not frown, 
or grin, or simper, and thus give the impres- 
sion to strangers that they are habitually cross 
or silly. Be gay with your friends, in order 
to put them fully at their ease. Be pleasant 



76 



Good Manners in Public. 



yet reserved with newly made friends, with 
superiors, or with those whose character is 
unknown to you. 

Avoid wrinkling the forehead; it indicates 
sadness, or else a soul that despises those 
whom it regards as inferior. 

4. The Voice. — Young persons are frequent- 
ly heard to speak and to laugh aloud in public, 
so as to attract the attention of every one. This 
is the sign of a mind quite vacant, and of a 
very defective education. We should speak in 
such a manner as to be understood by those 
only with whom we are conversing. Loud talk 
indicates pride and insolence; a gentle and 
moderate tone is the mark of a polite and man- 
ly spirit. Never salute a friend or proclaim 
his name in a loud voice; this is the height of 
rudeness. When speaking to an elderly per- 
son, or to any one superior to yourself in rank 
or age, lower your voice to a degree of kindness 
and respect that is unmistakable. 

5. Dress. — There is a class of men and 
women who dress on purpose to attract atten- 
tion, who walk the streets to be seen ; but these 
are not members of good society. People of 
good sense and manners wear plain, modest 



Good Manners in Public. 



77 



and simple clothing. A showy, gaudy dress in- 
dicates a vain and vulgar mind. 

Do not appear in public with shoes unpol- 
ished, but do not have the polishing done on 
the public highways. Never wear trinkets, 
shirt-pins, finger-rings, or anything of the kind 
simply for ornament. One may wear shirt- 
studs, a scarf-pin, a watch-chain, and such 
things as are useful; but the plainer they are, 
the better. 

6. Walking. — Young people often drag their 
feet in a careless, slovenly manner. Others, 
when walking, sway the body from side to side, 
or forward and backward, imitating in a way 
the awkward movement of the camel. Again, 
many children set their feet in a parallel posi- 
tion, or even turn in the toes, whilst others 
throw their whole weight upon their heels. 
These are all defects that must be corrected in 
youth, and replaced by correct habits, that 
will insure a pleasant and elegant manner of 
walking. 

When walking, do not stoop, but hold the 
body erect, with the chest expanded. Let the 
movement of the arms be moderate, and do 
not balance them in such a way that one might 



78 



Good Manners in Public. 



think you were afraid of falling. As a rule, set 
the feet at an angle somewhat in the form of 
the letter "v," both when standing and walk- 
ing. Do not carry your hands in your pockets, 
or thrust your thumbs into the armholes of 
your waistcoat. 

7. Sidewalk. — When walking in company 
with others, give the middle place to the most 
distinguished person. If with a single com- 
panion, give him the right-hand side ; however, 
in case you turn back, do not change your posi- 
tion. On the sidewalk, give the person you 
wish to honor the inside of the walk. If, on 
turning a corner, you wish to change your po- 
sition, be sure to pass behind and not in front 
of your companion. 

When mounting a stairway, a gentleman 
always precedes a lady; but in descending, the 
gentleman steps back to let the lady pass down 
first. 

When passing others, always keep to the 
right; you will thus avoid confusion and pos- 
sible collisions. Never brush against or elbow 
people that are passing by. If, by accident, 
you stumble against others, or inconvenience 
them in any way, do not fail to apologize. 



Good Manners in Public. 



79 



When walking along, never turn jour head 
to look behind you, but rather stop and turn 
about. It is very rude to turn and stare at a 
person passing by. School-children are often 
too thoughtless and selfish to give others a 
share of the walk. We often see three or four 
girls walking along arm in arm, taking up the 
entire sidewalk, so that others must step off 
the walk to let them pass. Politeness requires 
that the younger give the older the greater 
part of the w r alk, or all of it, if need be. 

It is very rude and unmannerly to spit upon 
the sidewalk; the proper way is to use your 
handkerchief, or to go to the curbstone. 

Never stand in groups so as to obstruct the 
entrance to a church, or any other place of 
public assembly. To stand before hotels and 
other places, to stare at passers-by, is an idle 
and insolent habit. 

8. Meeting. — Never stop acquaintances, and 
stand with them in the middle of the sidewalk ; 
either walk along with them, or stand to one 
side. Do not stop a lady on the street in order 
to speak to her, but turn and walk by her side. 
Eaise your hat when leaving her, at the con- 
clusion of the conversation. Do not remove 



80 



Good Manners in Public. 



your glove to shake hands, nor apologize; it is 
proper to offer the hand gloved. 

9. Salutation. — When meeting friends and 
acquaintances on the street, politeness requires 
of us to notice and salute them. A gentleman 
raises his hat to another, but takes it off when 
meeting a lady that he knows. When walking 
in the street with a lady, he touches his hat 
and bows to whomever she salutes in passing. 
Thus also, a polite boy accompanying his 
parents or sisters, should lift his cap when 
they answer a bow or meet a friend. He will 
likewise take off his hat when meeting a priest, 
a teacher, or any one deserving of special cour- 
tesy. 

Lifting the hat is a sign of respect. It means 
"I wish to honor you, and I am glad to do so." 
A gentleman always lifts his hat when offering 
a service to a strange lady. He may pick up 
an article that she may have dropped, or open 
her umbrella as she descends from a car, etc. 
He lifts his hat before the service, or during 
the courtesy. She bows, but does not speak. 
"Thank you!" is not too much of an acknowl- 
edgment, but it has ceased to be etiquette in 



Good Manners in Public. 



81 



such a case. A bow and a smile may convey 
more gratitude than speech. 

A gentleman opens a door for a strange lady, 
holds it open with one hand and lifts his hat 
with the other, while she passes in advance of 
him. He always offers her the precedence, but 
he does it silently, and without resting his gaze 
upon her. He also raises his hat when he begs 
a lady's pardon, whether he is known to her or 
not. He lifts his hat to a lady whom he passes 
in a hall or corridor, unless the place be a pub- 
lic passage, but he does not rest his glance 
upon her. This is an expression of respect and 
courtesy to the sex. 

In passing a group of mourners at a door- 
way, where their dead is being carried forth, 
or a funeral procession in a quiet street, a 
gentleman will uncover his head. This is a 
beautiful French custom, and it has now be- 
come a part of our street etiquette. 

When saluting a person, it is in good form 
to add the name to the salutation, for instance : 
"Good morning, Mr. Smith !" or, "How do you 
do, Uncle John !" 

10. Introductions. — When walking with an- 
other, do not introduce your companion to 



82 



Good Manners in Public. 



everyone you meet. It is rarely called for, and 
serves no purpose. Before introducing one to 
another, be sure that it be mutually desired. 
Always present the one who is inferior in age 
or rank to the one who is superior. Be careful 
not to speak so loud that people passing near 
you can hear the names of those present, or 
the subject of your conversation. Observe the 
same in stores and all other places of public 
resort. In making an introduction, a gentle- 
man is presented to a lady with some such in- 
formal speech as this : "Mrs. A., allow 7 me to 
present Mr. B." 

11. Shaking Hands. — Never offer your hand 
to a lady or to a superior. If they make the 
offer, bow, and offer your hand in return. Do 
not present your hand coldly, or extend one or 
two fingers; a hearty shake of the hand is the 
common token of peace, familiarity and good- 
will. 

12. Kindness. — Without kindness of heart 
we shall never acquire politeness in our man- 
ner of acting. This virtue prompts us to ren- 
der a service whenever w r e can. 

If strangers ask for any information that 
you are able to give, answer them politely, giv- 



Good Manners in Public. 83 



ing the directions with clearness ; if necessary, 
be ready to go out of your way to point out a 
street or a place they are looking for. If you 
can not give them the desired information, tell 
them so in polite terms, such as these : "I am 
sorry that I can not oblige you, but I do not 
know the place/' etc. If you see a person con- 
fused, not knowing the way, it is polite to offer 
your assistance, so as to help him out of his 
difficulty, even at a cost of time and trouble. 

Should you have occasion to ask any infor- 
mation of a stranger, always be very polite in 
your language, and never fail to thank for the 
favor, even should he not be able to inform you. 
It is proper, and in most cases safer, to ask 
such information either from a conductor on 
a car, or from a police officer on the street, 
rather than from any other person. Thus you 
will not run the risk of being misdirected by 
wicked persons who may wish to lead you 
astray. 

When you are walking along with an older 
person, who may be carrying parcels or pack- 
ages, offer to carry at least some of tbem. It 
is both kind and polite for boys and girls to 
pick up things that might have been dropped 



84 



Good Manners in Public. 



by elderly or infirm persons, or to render them 
any assistance in crossing the street, and the 
like. 

13. Street Cars. — Polite children will always 
respect the rights and comforts of others. Thus 
they will not crowd on car platforms, thereby 
preventing passengers from entering or leaving 
the car. If you enter an open car, do not hold 
the end seat, obliging others to climb over you. 
It is proper to move down from the end to 
make room for others, even though you do not 
intend to ride for any great distance. 

It is very rude and selfish to rush for a seat 
in a car (or at a public entertainment), disre- 
garding every one else, pushing rudely by 
women and children, hustling men who are 
older or less active than you are. Never occupy 
more space in a car or omnibus than you re- 
quire. 

Do not enter a crowded car, unless you can 
not help it. It often happens that the next car 
may afford plenty of room. One who enters a 
crowded car may be considered as an intruder, 
and as such has no rights that any one is bound 
to respect. 

If a lady, carrying a child or a bundle of 



Good Manners in Public. 85 



parcels, or an elderly or infirm person, enter a 
crowded car, a polite boy will rise and offer his 
seat, at the same time raising his hat as a 
mark of respect. It shows a complete want of 
manners when girls, who may be obliged to 
stand in a car, make any remarks intended to 
offend gentlemen who fail to offer them a seat. 

14. Entertainments. — Do not bustle into a 
hall of public entertainment after the perform- 
ance has begun. Try to arrive early, and be 
seated in time. It shows a blameworthy dis- 
regard for others, to have a private talk and 
laugh while the performance is going on; it 
annoys others who wish to listen, and is a 
mark of ill-breeding. If you do not wish to re- 
main to the end, wait until there be a pause in 
the program. 

15. Companions. — Our choice of companions 
has a great influence upon our happiness, both 
temporal and eternal. The old proverb is but 
too true: "Tell me with whom you associate, 
and I will tell you what you are." If we fre- 
quently go with the same companions, we soon 
adopt their ways of thinking, and without 
knowing it, we imitate their manner of speak- 
ing as well as their general behavior. If our 



86 



Good Manners in Public. 



companions are good, gentle and polite, they 
will aid us to acquire good manners and to 
practice virtue. If they are bad, we will soon 
follow them, and even become their leader on 
the road to ruin and disgrace. 

16. General Behavior. — When walking in 
the street, do not gaze about, as though you 
wished to see everything and everybody; look 
ahead of you so as to notice the friends that 
you might meet, or to avoid any danger to your 
person. Never stand and stare at the windows 
of private houses,, and be careful not to keep 
your gaze fixed upon strangers, either in pass- 
ing or in a public conveyance. Do not chew 
or eat on the street, for this is a mark of bad 
manners. Besides being impolite, it may be 
very dangerous to throw banana peel on the 
street. Never point at persons seen on the 
street, or laugh at the manner of their dress. 
Never carry your umbrella horizontally in a 
crowd, or hold it so that it may inconvenience 
others. 

Never quarrel with your companions, or give 
a blow or a kick to your neighbor; this is the 
greatest insult that you can inflict, and it gen- 



Questions for Review. 



87 



erally arises from unbridled anger, or from a 
low and ignoble revenge. 

Questions for Review 

1. By what are people known and judged? 
How do we usually judge a man by the clothes? 
the looks? the face? the conversation? 

2. Why are good manners so necessary in 
public? What will be the result of polite be- 
havior? On the contrary, what will cause us 
to lose the respect of every one? What will 
every observer say? 

3. How is a man of good sense known? 
What does an ancient writer say of the face? 
What ought to be in the face, to make it agree- 
able? What is said of cleanliness? of modesty? 
What provokes a blush? of what is it the sign? 
What does a constant change of countenance 
indicate? 

What should young people learn to express 
in their faces? What should they avoid? With 
whom should we be gay? with whom pleasant 
yet reserved? Why should we avoid wrinkling 
the forehead? 

4. Of what is loud speaking and laughing 



88 



Questions for Review. 



the sign? In what manner should we speak? 
What is said of loud talk? of a moderate tone? 
What must we avoid when saluting a friend? 
What should you do when speaking to an elder- 
ly person or to a superior? 

5. What do people of good sense and man- 
ners wear? What does showy, gaudy dress in- 
dicate? What is said about shoes? What may 
we wear? What may we not wear? 

6. What is said of dragging the feet? of 
waving the body? of awkward position of the 
feet? of the toes? of the heels? What is said 
of these defects? When walking, what must 
you observe regarding the body? the arms? the 
hands? the feet? 

7. What must you observe when walking 
with others? with a single companion? What 
is said about the inside of the walk? about 
changing position? about mounting and de- 
scending a stairway? about passing others? 
When walking along, what must you avoid? 
What should school-children avoid in the 
street? What does politeness require? What 
can you say about spitting? about standing in 
groups? 

8. What must you never do when meeting 



Questions for Review. 



89 



acquaintances? when meeting a lady? What 
should you do when leaving her? Do you re- 
move your glove when shaking hands? 

9. What does politeness require of us when 
we meet friends? When does a gentleman 
raise his hat? When does he take it off? 
When does he touch his hat and bow? When 
should a polite boy lift his cap? When will 
he take off his hat? Of what is lifting the hat 
a sign? What does it mean? What does a 
gentleman do when offering a service to a 
lady? What does she do? In what manner 
does a gentleman open a door? beg pardon? 
pass a lady in a hall? pass a group of mourn- 
ers, or a funeral procession? What is in good 
form when saluting? 

10. What is said about introducing a com- 
panion? What must you be sure of? Whom 
do you present ? What must you be careful of ? 
Where must you observe the same? How do 
you present a gentleman? 

11. To whom do you offer your hand? To 
whom not? How is it to be done? of what is 
it a token ? 

12. Why is kindness necessary? What does 
it prompt us to do? How do you act towards 

7 



90 



Questions for Review. 



strangers that ask for information? When 
should you offer your assistance? How do you 
ask for information? Whom may you ask? 
What is said of older persons carrying parcels ? 
of elderly and infirm persons? 

13. What will polite children always re- 
spect? What is to be observed regarding car 
platforms? of holding the end seat? rushing 
for a seat? of occupying more space than re- 
quired? of entering a crowded car? When 
will a polite boy offer his seat ? When do girls 
show a want of manners? 

14. What must you observe regarding halls 
of public entertainment? about talking and 
laughing? When may you leave? 

15. Why is a choice of companions so im- 
portant? Repeat the old proverb. How do 
companions affect our ways? What are the 
effects of having good companions? What, if 
they are bad? 

16. What should you not do when walking 
in the street? What can you say about staring 
at Avindows? at strangers? What about chew- 
ing or eating? pointing? laughing? carrying 
your umbrella? quarreling? giving a blow or a 
kick? 



Extracts for Memorizing. 91 



Extracts for Memorizing 

1. The outward forms the inner man re- 

veal, 

We guess the pulp before we cut the 
peel. — 0. W. Holmes. 

2. A beautiful behavior is better than a 
beautiful form ; it gives a higher pleasure than 
statues and pictures ; it is the finest of the fine 
arts. — Emerson. 

3. A man's manners are a mirror in which 
he shows his likeness to the intelligent ob- 
server. — Goethe. 

4. Good manners are neither more nor less 
than beautiful behavior. — S. Smiles. 

5. Fine manners are a stronger bond than 
a beautiful face. The former binds; the latter 
only attracts. — Lamartine. 

6. Virtue itself offends when coupled with 
a forbidding manner. 

7. True politeness is the spirit of benevo- 
lence showing itself in a refined way. It is the 
expression of good-will and kindness. It pro- 
motes both beauty in the man who possesses it, 
and happiness in those who are about him. It 



92 Extracts for Memorizing. 



is a religious duty, and should be a part of re- 
ligious training. — Beecher. 

8. Wise men read very sharply all of your 
private history in your look and gait and be- 
havior. — Emerson. 



Good Manners in Conversation. 



93 



CHAPTER VII. 

Good Manners in Conversation 

1. Importance. — Conversation is an inter- 
change of ideas between two or more persons 
who happen to meet on various occasions. In 
the course of a conversation we generally speak 
of experiences through which we have passed, 
or we exchange views and opinions regarding 
some object, or we communicate our impres- 
sions. By so doing we unconsciously exhibit 
the extent of our understanding, disclose our 
dispositions and our character, and even make 
known our inclinations, our wishes, humors, 
and passions. This being true, we may readily 
understand the importance of regulating our 
conversation by the rules of prudence and of 
good manners. 

2. Object. — Conversation may serve as an 
agreeable pastime and a relaxation, wherein 
the mind, fatigued by labor or by business 



94 Good Manners in Conversation. 

affairs, rests and gathers new strength for fur- 
ther exertion. Moreover, it is a means of ac- 
quiring much useful knowledge and valuable 
information, whilst it affords an occasion of 
reviewing and extending the knowledge we al- 
ready possess. Finally, conversation affords 
us a favorable occasion for meriting the good 
will and the esteem of our neighbor, thereby 
enlarging the circle of our influence for doing 
good. 

3. Effect. — He who understands the secret 
of entertaining will be able to hold the atten- 
tion of his hearers, and will thereby gain their 
sympathy. True, this power is in part a gift 
of nature, and is not given to all in the same 
measure. On the other hand, it is partly an 
art to be acquired, and hence it lies in the 
power of everyone to develop this gift, by ap- 
plying himself diligently to the study of lan- 
guage, and of the rules that regulate the art of 
speaking well. We must strive to become per- 
fect masters of speech, in all places, with all 
persons, and under all circumstances. 

4. Bearing. — In any social gathering, the 
first point to observe is that of a noble, cor- 
rect and dignified bearing. When speaking, 



Good Manners in Conversation. 



95 



choose a position that you can see the face of 
the one with whom you are conversing. This 
will enable you to notice the impression that 
your words will make upon him. However, 
do not stand so close that your breath may 
strike his face. 

You must also avoid, when speaking, to 
make awkward gestures with the face, or to 
show your teeth, or to draw the mouth into 
a variety of forms and expressions. 

5. Language. — In company, always speak in 
a language that will be understood by all that 
are present, otherwise a part of the company 
will be obliged to be silent, and it would seem 
as though something were being said about 
them. 

In the choice of words, use plain, simple, ele- 
gant English, which all persons present may 
understand. Be careful to avoid all low and 
vulgar words and expressions, as well as all 
grammatical errors. 

Study your grammar thoroughly and atten- 
tively, and read the writings of the best au- 
thors. To do this with profit, always read with 
a pencil and note book at your side, and take 
down every new word. Look for the pronun- 



96 



Good Manners in Conversation. 



ciation and meaning in the dictionary, and 
you will make remarkable progress in a very 
short time. 

Pronounce every word correctly, and listen 
attentively to the pronunciation of those who 
are well educated. Do not copy the silly words 
and phrases of those who wish to appear sin- 
gular. 

Speak with a clear and distinct enunciation, 
and do not smother or swallow your words. Be 
careful to sound the final consonants. Do not 
say comin', goin', singin', for coming, going, 
singing, or^an' for and. 

Do not say ketch for catch, or ken for can. 
Say fellow, window, mellow, to-morrow, not 
feller, winder, meller, or to-morrer. 

Remember to give the diphthongal sound for 
eu, wherever it belongs. Do not say doo for 
dew or due ; say duty, not dooty. 

Do not drop the sound of "r" where it be- 
longs, as ahm for arm, or wahm for warm. On 
the other hand, avoid giving the sound of "r" 
where it does not belong, as sawr for saw, lawr 
for law. 

Avoid saying yeh or ya-as for yes, or don't 



Good Manners in Conversation. 



97 



for does not. Don't is a contraction for do not, 
not for does not. 

Don't say aint for isn't, and never say 'taint. 
Sav aren't for are not, isn't for is not; do not 
use ain't at all. 

Never say "I done it," or "he done it," for 
"I or he did it," or "I seen it" for "I saw it." 
These are gross errors, yet they are often made 
by people who ought to know better. A sim- 
ilar error is "If he had went," instead of "If 
he had gone." 

Do not say "It is him," or "It is me;" say 
"It is he," and "It is I." The pronoun must be 
in the nominative case. Thus also, "He is 
older than me," ought to be, "He is older 
than I." 

Be careful in the use of lay and lie. Lay ex- 
presses action, lie expresses rest. "I will lie 
down," and "I will lay it down." 

A very common error is the use of them for 
those. "Them shoes," "them hats." 

"I am through," or "I am finished," are in- 
excusable errors; say, "I have finished." 

Don't use mad for angry, or learn for teach. 
It is not right to say, "I will learn you," but, 
"I will teach you." 



98 Good Manners in Conversation. 



Use the word got only when necessary. In 
the sentence, "I have got a book/' got is need- 
less, and is far from being a pleasing word. 
Say, "I have a book." 

Never say "awfully nice/' "awfully pretty," 
etc. Use the word awful with a sense of its 
correct meaning. 

When speaking of food, do not use the words 
healthy or unhealthy; say wholesome or un- 
wholesome. 

Try to avoid these and similar errors of 
grammar or of pronunciation; on the other 
hand, be careful not to correct another except 
in a polite manner, and in private. 

6. The Voice. — In conversation, let the tone 
of the voice be agreeable. To this end, avoid 
speaking in a loud, shrill voice. Use a natural, 
that is, a medium tone of voice. If your voice 
is naturally rough and disagreeable, tone it 
down by practice, as you would in singing. 

Another extreme, which is equally impolite 
and often annoying, is to speak in such a low 
and easy tone as scarcely to be understood. 

Learn to modulate your voice according to 
circumstances. On a noisy street you must 
speak louder than in a quiet room; whilst, in 



Good Manners in Conversation. 99 

the presence of strangers you will lower the 
tone so as to be understood by those only to 
whom you are speaking. 

7. Qualities. — In order to be polite, and 
therefore in accordance with the requirements 
of good society, our conversation must be: 
1. Appropriate. 2. Eespectful. 3. Prudent. 
4. Modest. 5. Charitable. 6. Interesting. 

8. Appropriate. — Our conversation is appro- 
priate when it is suitable at all times, in all 
places, and in regard to all persons with whom 
we converse. To this effect we must observe 
the rules and correct forms that are customary 
in good society. 

Be particular to give the persons addressed 
their proper titles. Thus, if you should ever 
have occasion to meet the Pope, address him 
as, Your Holiness, or Holy Father. To a car- 
dinal say, Your Eminence; to an archbishop, 
Your Grace, and to a bishop, Your Lordship, 
or Right Reverend Bishop. Address a priest 
as Reverend Father, and a religious, as Rev- 
erend Brother or Reverend Sister. 

You would address the chief executive of 
our country as Mister President; a governor 
as, Your Excellency; a mayor as, Your Honor, 



100 Good Manners in Conversation. 

or Mister Mayor, and a judge as, Your Honor. 

When addressing a gentleman who has no 
special title, or whose rank or position is not 
known to you, address him as Mister. To a 
married lady say Madam or Mistress (pro- 
nounced Missis) ; to an unmarried lady say 
Miss. 

When answering a question, do not merely 
say, "Yes," or "No but add at least the name 
or title, as, "Yes, Keverend Father," or "No, 
Mrs. Smith." Try to accustom yourself to 
avoid answering with yes or no, by using a 
part of the question instead. Thus, when 
asked, "Did you go out?" answer, "I did, 
father," or "I did, mother," 

When, having been addressed, you fail to 
understand, the form of inquiry should be, 
"Sir?" or "Madam?" or "Please?" or "I beg 
your pardon," or "Excuse me, what did you 
say, Mr. Jones?" Either one of these phrases, 
pronounced with the rising inflection, is con- 
sidered good form. 

When speaking of a parent, children under 
fourteen years of age may say, "My papa," or 
"My mamma," (with the accent on the last syl- 
lable). For those who have passed the age of 



Good Manners in Conversation. 101 



fourteen, the proper form to use is "My father/' 
or "My mother." 

When speaking of a* bishop or other digni- 
tary, always use his full title. Do not say, 
"The bishop," etc., but "The Right Reverend 
Bishop." 

Using pet names or nicknames when speak- 
ing of persons to whom we owe respect, is con- 
sidered rude and unbecoming. 

If, in conversation with a man, you have 
occasion to speak of his wife, do not say "Your 
wife," but rather, "Mrs. N.," or Madam N." 
In speaking to her, say, "Mr. N.," and not 
"Tour husband." 

You may say to the parent of another, "Your 
son told me so;" however, in a similar case, 
say, "Miss N.," and not "Your daughter." 

Be not too short or even snappish when offer- 
ing or asking for anything. There are certain 
polite forms which you must learn to use from 
childhood. Thus, at table, you may say, "Allow 
me to help you to some fruit," or, at another 
occasion, "Permit me to assist you," or, "May 
I have the pleasure of?" or, "Will you kindly 
allow me to?" etc. 



102 Good Manners in Conversation. 



A request beginning with "Will you please?" 
or, "May I ask you?" "Kindly hand me," "Will 
you be so kind?" etc., and uttered in a pleasant 
voice and with a smile, always meets a willing 
response. And then, a hearty "I thank you," 
or "Thank you very much," (never simply 
"Thanks") makes the one who grants the re- 
quest feel happy for having caused you the 
pleasure. 

The little polite phrases, "Pardon me," or "I 
beg your pardon," or "Please excuse me," will 
smooth away many a frown caused by your in- 
attention or thoughtlessness. 

It is an indication of tact and of regard for 
others to know when to say, "Pray, be seated." 
"Do not stand without your hat," "Do not 
rise, I beg of you," "Allow me to take your 
hat," and similar polite phrases that are proper 
on various occasions. 

It is a very poor compliment to the intelli- 
gence of the person with whom Ave are speak- 
ing, if we constantly inquire, "Do you under- 
stand?" It is likewise offensive to the speaker 
to say, "If what you have said be true," which 
might lead him to suspect that you consider 
him to be untruthful. 



Good Manners in Conversation. 103 



Above all, a Catholic will be careful to use 
appropriate language when speaking of God, 
of the Saints, or of holy things. Thus, he will 
not speak of "the Mass, Communion, the Sac- 
rament of the Altar/' but will say, "the Holy 
Mass, Holy Communion, the Most Blessed Sac- 
rament of the Altar." He will not say, "Mary, 
or the Virgin, Peter, Francis," etc., but "the 
Blessed Virgin," or "the Holy Mother of God, 
Saint Peter, Saint Francis," etc. 

9. Respectful. — A second requirement of 
polite conversation is to be delicate and re- 
spectful in our utterances. Here, again, as in 
so many instances, we see that true politeness 
is a natural outgrowth of piety and religion. 
A true Catholic loves God, and keeps His com- 
mandments; he professes and practices his 
faith; he excels in respect toward the Church 
and her servants, the priests and religious, and 
in esteem for her teachings, dogmas, and means 
of grace. Accordingly, he will not allow him- 
self any expression that might injure these 
feelings and sentiments. Banish, therefore, 
from your conversation, all disrespectful re- 
marks against the Church, the Pope, or against 
any bishop, priest or religious. 



104 Good Manners in Conversation. 

Never speak lightly or mockingly of the 
Saints, of miracles, devotions, divine services, 
or devout practices. Avoid abusing the sacred 
texts of Holy Scripture, using them in a lu- 
dicrous or ridiculous manner. 

It is likewise very unbecoming to exclaim, at 
every occasion, "God!" or "My God!" This 
would, moreover, be a sinful breach of the sec- 
ond commandment of God. 

10. Prudent. — Season your conversation 
with the salt of prudence and discretion. It is 
the indication of a noble heart, and of a good 
character, two qualifications that entitle their 
possessor to the esteem and confidence of all 
good men. 

Never reveal a secret that has been entrusted 
to your safe-keeping. It would be a sinful 
breach of confidence, that would merit dis- 
honor. 

In your conversation never speak on any 
subject that would annoy or offend any one of 
the company, or remind him of some fault or 
disagreeable occurrence of the past. 

Be prudent and careful when speaking in the 
presence of strangers. You might, unknow- 



Good Manners in Conversation. 105 



ingly, relate something that would perhaps re- 
fer to some relative or friend of theirs, and 
thus they may become your enemies. 

Never hint that you know something about 
others, which you dare not mention; saying, 
for instance, "I heard something about him 
that would surprise you, but I'll not tell." 
Such hints are offensive to the company, whom 
we do not deem worthy to know what we know. 

Avoid impertinent questions, and never ask 
about things that do not concern you. Do not 
try, by asking repeatedly, to find out things 
that another does not wish to tell. 

It is very rude and unmannerly to try to 
hear what others are saying in a private con- 
versation. If you are in the company of sev- 
eral persons, and it becomes necessary to tell 
something private to one in particular, ask the 
company to be excused for a moment, and then 
let the communication be as brief as possible. 

Beware of gossiping. It is a most detestable, 
and even a sinful habit. Never make known 
what you have heard or seen in the house of 
another, or in a private circle of friends. Be- 
fore mentioning anything of this kind, let your 
charity and good judgment apply the test, 

8 



106 Good Manners in Conversation. 



which is to repeat only such things as would 
in no wise be disagreeable to the persons con- 
cerned, if mentioned in their presence. 

11. Modest. — Modesty is a virtue by which 
we prudently distrust ourselves, and habitu- 
ally give the preference to others, rather than 
take advantage of them. Modesty is, indeed, 
the surest means of gaining the esteem and 
sympathy of our fellow-beings, whilst the lack 
of it is most repulsive. 

If you would acquire this amiable virtue, 
you must, in the first place, avoid speaking too 
much. When in company, be not the one who 
has "all the say." It is most unbecoming, and 
marks the "bore" in conversation; hence, such 
persons soon become tiresome talkers, and nec- 
essarily lose the esteem of their companions. 
Remember the words of Holy Scripture: "In 
a multitude of words there shall not want sin." 
(Prov. 10:19.) 

The best rule to guide young people may be 
summed up in these few words: Be silent on 
topics you know nothing about; listen much, 
;speak little, and always to the point. 

Avoid pride and vanity in your conversation. 



Good Manners in Conversation. 107 



Be not continually talking about yourself, your 
acquirements, your family, or their fortune, 
the work that you have accomplished, or the 
plans of your future achievements. Avoid the 
constant use of "I, my and mine." "Keep your 
own affairs to yourself, and avoid meddling 
with other people's business," is a good rule to 
observe. 

Should you have occasion to mention several 
persons, including yourself, name them in the 
order of dignity or age, and yourself last ; thus, 
"My father, my brother, and I," or, "You, he, 
and I." 

12. Charitable. — Our conversation will not 
be polite unless we have a charitable and kind- 
ly feeling towards our neighbor. Listen to the 
beautiful teaching of the Divine Word: "Out 
of the fullness of the heart the mouth speak- 
eth." Again, the great apostle, Saint Paul, 
says: "If I could speak all the tongues of 
men and angels, but had not charity, it would 
avail me nothing." 

The constant practice of charity, which is 
one of the most necessary requirements of po- 
lite conversation, is one of the most difficult 
accomplishments. Indeed, it requires much 



108 Good Manners in Conversation. 



virtue, such as humility, self-control, and forti- 
tude. On the other hand, it produces the most 
agreeable and most favorable effect. It ele- 
vates, rejoices, consoles, encourages and forti- 
fies the soul, as the morning dew refreshes and 
reanimates the languishing rose, and retouches 
its paling tints with hues of warmth and 
brightness. 

When any one asks a favor of you, charity 
will induce you to receive him with a kind 
word and a pleasant disposition, so that, even 
though it were not in your power to grant his 
request, he would not have occasion to be dis- 
pleased at a refusal. 

Avoid saying anything disagreeable or offen- 
sive, unless your duty obliges you to do so. 
Never call attention to any personal defect, to 
the looks, the color of the hair, the name or 
nationality, the manner of speaking, etc. On 
these points most people are very touchy, and 
easily take offense. 

In company, never speak of any of those 
present in a manner that would tend to lower 
them in the esteem of others. On the contrary, 
acknowledge their good qualities, their merits, 
or their success, and try to introduce such sub- 



Good Manners in Conversation. 109 

jects of conversation as will give tkein occa- 
sion to utilize their knowledge or talents with 
good effect. 

Be careful, above all, when speaking of the 
absent, to observe the rule of Saint Augustine: 
"Of the absent, say nothing but what is good." 
In this connection we are forcibly reminded of 
the words of Saint James : "If any man offend 
not in words, the same is a perfect man." 

Avoid criticising and fault-finding. Some 
disagreeable characters there are, who see 
nothing of the beautiful and the praiseworthy 
in others, or if their attention be called to 
some point of excellence in another, they will 
disdain to give him credit. They will readily 
detect some fault, however trifling it may be, 
and will speak about this with visible pleasure 
and satisfaction. They do not realize that they 
are betraying their own base disposition and 
disagreeable character. 

Children, above all, must avoid this impo- 
lite and sinful practice of finding fault with 
their parents, teachers, and other superiors. 
Rude and impolite pupils often delight in mak- 
ing fun of remarks, or of rules laid down by 
their teachers. They do not understand that 



110 Good Manners in Conversation. 



such actions show their own stupidity and 
pride, that they offend God thereby, and give 
bad example to their companions. 

A polite pupil will carefully avoid the com- 
pany of those who try to find out the slightest 
faults of others, in order to belittle them in 
the eyes of their teachers, or of their com- 
panions. 

Never allow yourself to joke with your su- 
periors; this would show a want of reverence 
and respect. On the other hand, if any one 
allows himself a joke at your expense, have 
manners and virtue enough at least to say 
nothing and look pleasant. 

Those who are always joking are generally 
hated. An innocent joke may please some- 
times, but it is fatiguing and tiresome to hear 
one who is constantly trying to be witty. 

Never jest about religion, or anything sacred, 
or about any case that is deserving of pity. 

To mimic others is coarse and insulting. Tt 
may give amusement to ignorant and narrow- 
minded people, but it will never be acceptable 
in polite company. 

13. Interesting. — We might often hear it 
said that "Speech is silver, silence is gold;" 



Good Manners in Conversation. Ill 

yet it is well to be able to say the right word 
at the right time. The young man who is try- 
ing to rise in the world must learn when to be 
silent, for silence is often very necessary; but 
he must also know when and how to speak, for 
speech is often still more necessary. Excessive 
talk on silly subjects is very tiresome, but dull 
silence is equally annoying. 

Conversation is often wearisome and unin- 
teresting for want of a suitable and pleasant 
topic. Among young people this is generally 
the case, either because they do not read atten- 
tively, or do not observe closely, or because 
they do not feel within themselves the desire 
to be agreeable. 

Short anecdotes that one has read, or heard 
others tell, often add much interest and amuse- 
ment to the conversation. They must, how- 
ever, be in harmony with the company, and 
with the nature of the subjects that are being 
spoken of. 

When one of the company has begun to speak 
on a subject that seems to excite a general in- 
terest, do not propose another until the first is 
exhausted, or ceases to engage the attention. 

If any one joins the company in the course 



112 Good Manners in Conversation. 



of the conversation, it is polite, on the part of 
the one who is speaking, to inform the person, 
in a brief way, of the subject of conversation, 
especially if this person be one to whom he 
owes attention. Should we be the person join- 
ing the company, it would be very rude to say, 
"What are you talking about?" It would be 
proper, though, to excuse yourself for the in- 
terruption, and politely to ask the speaker not 
to be disturbed, but to go right on with his sub- 
ject. 

In the case of a family misfortune or be- 
reavement, do not introduce the subject of 
their loss or sorrow. Let the persons suffering 
the affliction mention it first if they wish to 
speak of it themselves. 

It plainly destroys all interest in a conversa- 
tion when, in the company of others, you speak 
to one person only. Let your conversation be 
addressed to all present, and let it be on such 
subjects that all may take part in it. 

Do not speak of your own troubles unless 
you have been asked to do so. People that are 
always complaining are very tiresome com- 
pany. Learn to bear your troubles patiently, 
and if, at times, they seem to weigh too heavily 



Good Manners in Conversation. 113 

upon you, speak of them to some trustworthy 
friend ; but do not disturb other people's pleas- 
ure by obliging them to listen to your tale of 
woe. 

Do not speak of persons that are unknown 
to some of the company, nor of subjects of 
study that they know nothing about. These 
things will certainly not interest them. 

14. Discussion. — Among foolish and unman- 
nerly children, a difference of opinion generally 
calls forth insulting language, or it may end 
in a quarrel. This ought not to be the case 
among children who are striving to acquire 
good manners. They will never be heard to 
say: "That is a lie!" or, the still more rude 
and insulting words, "You are a liar!" Such 
expressions are unpardonable. It is not im- 
polite to say, "Excuse me, or pardon me, but 
I believe you are mistaken." 

Young people should never enter into a dis- 
cussion with their elders or superiors. How- 
ever, should justice or a sense of honor oblige 
them to do so, they must not fail to apologize 
and to be respectful both in their tone of voice 
and in the expressions they use. 

15. Attention. — Politeness requires of us to 



114 Good Manners in Conversation. 

listen attentively to those who are speaking, 
and to show that we are interested in their 
conversation. It would be very impolite to 
busy ourselves with other matters, such as 
reading, writing, looking at pictures, etc. 

When one is doing his part in entertaining 
the company, we ought to give him the same 
close attention we would wish to receive if in 
his place. The art of listening well is quite a 
rare accomplishment. 

When any one is speaking to us, no matter 
if what they say is not very important, it 
should be followed without interruption. It 
would be disrespectful, and a sign of bad man- 
ners, to show weariness, by yawning, moving 
to and fro, watching the clock, or pretending 
to go to sleep. 

Do not let your eyes go wandering about, 
but look straight at the person who is speak- 
ing. Nothing is more annoying than to try to 
talk to some one who is evidently not thinking 
of what we are saying. 

If you are in company and find that you are 
feeling sleepy, excuse yourself and retire, 
rather than give others occasion to think that 
their conversation is not interesting you. 



Good Manners in Conversation. 115 

16. Interruption. — It is extremely rude to 
interrupt any one who is speaking. Young 
people sometimes think that they know things 
better, or that they could improve upon the 
manner of saying this or that. This is the re- 
sult of pride and vanity. Learn to let others 
have their say, and then, if you wish to add 
your own version of the story, introduce it 
with an apology to the former speaker. 

If a story seems too long, do not show your 
impatience by interrupting the speaker for the 
purpose of drawing it to a close. 

There are times when a slight interruption 
is not out of place; for instance, when giving 
our approval of some remark or assertion made 
by the speaker. We may also, without appear- 
ing impolite, ask a question regarding some 
interesting point that we have failed to under- 
stand, saying, "Pardon the interruption, but 
I did not quite understand the last remark," 
etc. 

17. Complimenting. — The language of com- 
pliment must not be that of low flattery. Al- 
ways pay a compliment at the proper time to 
the proper person. Many find it easy to blame 
others at the slightest occasion, but they do 



116 



Questions for Review. 



not seem to think what pleasure a word of de- 
served praise might afford. 

18. General Remarks. — If any one begins to 
speak at the same time with you, always give 
the other person the privilege of speaking first. 
You may say, "Excuse me, please speak on." 

You must not interrupt with any questions 
one who is reading or writing, and never look 
over the shoulder of one so engaged. 

Do not try to attract attention by loud talk- 
ing or laughing. It is proper to be bright and 
lively, and even witty, if possible, but it is 
not good taste to try to win notice by these 
means. It is not a noble ambition to wish to 
be a clown. 

Loud talking and laughing in cars, and in 
all public places, show a want of education and 
of good manners. 

i 

Questions for Review 

1. What do we generally speak of? By 
what rules should we regulate our conversa- 
tion? 

2. What purpose may it serve? What may 



Questions for Review. 



117 



we acquire in conversation? What may we 
review and extend? What may we merit? 

3. How can every one develop the art of 
speaking well? What must we strive to be- 
come? 

4. What is the first point to observe in any 
social gathering? What position should we 
choose when speaking? What must we avoid? 

5. In what language should we speak? 
What kind of words should you choose? What 
must you avoid? What should you study and 
read? What should you have when reading? 
What should you look for? How should you 
pronounce? What should you not copy? 

What is said of enunciation? of final con- 
sonants ? of the sound of eu ? of r ? Which con- 
tractions must you avoid? Which common 
errors must be avoided? 

What is said of him and me? of lie and lay? 
of them and those? of am used for have? of 
learn and teach ? of got ? of awful and awfully ? 
of healthful and wholesome? How may you 
correct others? 

6. How should the tone of voice be? What 
is said of a harsh tone? a low and easy tone? 
a tone in presence of strangers? 



118 



Questions for Review. 



7. Which are the qualities of polite conver- 
sation ? 

8. When is our conversation appropriate? 
With what title do you address the Pope? a 
cardinal? an " archbishop ? a bishop? a priest? 
a religious? the chief executive of the United 
States? a mayor? a judge? a gentleman? a 
married lady? an unmarried lady? 

How do you answer a question? What must 
you try to accustom yourself to? Which is the 
proper form of inquiry? What is said of papa 
and father? of pet names and nicknames? of 
wife and husband? of son and daughter? 

Mention some polite phrases. Which ex- 
pressions must you avoid? When will a Cath- 
olic be especially careful to use appropriate 
language ? 

9. In what does a true Catholic excel? 
What must you banish from your conversa- 
tion? Of what must you never speak mock- 
ingly? What must you avoid? 

10. What is said of a secret? On which 
subjects must you not speak? How must we 
speak in the presence of strangers? For what 
reasons ? 

What is said about hints? about impertinent 



Questions for Review. 119 



questions? about private conversations? about 
gossiping? 

11. What is modesty? What is said about 
speaking too much ? Which is the best rule for 
young people? What shows pride and vanity? 

12. What can you say about charity? How 
. should you receive any one who asks a favor? 

What should you avoid saying? To what 
should you never call attention? How should 
you speak of the absent? of the departed? 

What must children avoid in regard to fault- 
finding? Whose company will a polite pupil 
avoid? What can you say about joking? About 
what should you never joke? 

13. What is said about short anecdotes? 
about proposing another subject? about any 
one joining the company? To what must you 
never allude? What results from speaking to 
one person only? To whom should the con- 
versation be addressed? What is said about 
troubles? about complaining? Which persons 
and subjects should you not speak about? 

14. What expressions ought never to be 
used? With whom should young persons not 
enter into a discussion? How should they act 
when obliged to do so? 



120 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



15. What can you say about attention? 
What would be very impolite? What would 
be disrespectful? 

16. What do young people sometimes think? 
When may an interruption not be out of place? 

17. When should you pay a compliment? 
How do many act in this regard? 

18. Who should have the privilege of speak- 
ing first? Whom must you not interrupt? 
What is said of loud talking and laughing? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. The great charm of conversation consists 
less in the display of one's wit and intelligence 
than in the power to draw forth the resources 
of others. — La Bruyere. 

2. Let another man praise thee, and not 
thine own lips. — Solomon. 

3. A man who endeavors to conceal his own 
merit, who sets that of other people in its true 
light, who speaks little of himself, and with 
modesty, makes a favorable impression upon 
those whom he meets, and acquires their love 
and esteem. — Lord Chesterfield. 



Extracts for Memorizing. 121 



4. It is almost the definition of a gentleman 
to say that he is one who never inflicts pain. — 
Cardinal Netvman. 

5. A wise man thinks before he speaks; but 
a fool speaks and then thinks of what he has 
been saying. — French Proverb. 

6. Kind words are the music of the world. 
— Father Faber. 



9 



122 Good Manners in Recreation. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

Good Manners in Recreation. 

1. Necessity. — A friendly game, an innocent 
amusement, — these are a welcome recreation 
for the body and an agreeable relaxation for 
the mind. After the day's hard work, whether 
it be physical labor or earnest application to 
study, we feel the need of rest. But here we 
must guard against the false idea of substitut- 
ing idleness for rest. The poet Cowper has 
truly said: 

v , "Absence of occupation is not rest; 

i A mind quite vacant is a mind distress'd." 

The proper rest for mind and body is a 
change from a serious and tiresome occupation 
to one that is less fatiguing and at the same 
time pleasant and agreeable. Such a rest we 
find in games and amusements. 

2. Benefit. — Above all, we must be careful 
to sanctify our games and recreations and 
make them a means of promoting the honor 



Good Manners in Recreation. 123 

and glory of God and of gaining merits for 
heaven. How can this be done? By complying 
with the regulations of the school, and by obey- 
ing our parents and teachers in" regard to the 
manner, time and place of our amusements. 
We shall thus be acting in accordance with the 
holy will of God, and our recreations will bene- 
fit us both in body and soul. 

3. Games. — In every game there are rules 
that are generally accepted, and true politeness 
requires us to follow them exactly. 

Always play an honest game, and banish all 
cheating from your amusements, as well as you 
would from your business. A dishonest player 
betrays his inner tendencies, and proves that 
he would be just as dishonest in other matters, 
should the opportunity present itself. 

4. Temper. — Never get into a passion or 
allow your temper to appear in the course of a 
game. To avoid this, you must try to master 
your feelings by silence, or an attempt to sub- 
due the first impulse of anger. 

Never call another insulting names if you 
have cause to consider him dishonest. In such 
a case, say nothing, but play out the game and 



124 Good Manners in Kecreation. 

then bring it to a close, without giving any ex- 
planation that would bring shame or displeas- 
ure upon the offending player. 

If you should happen to be losing, take your 
defeat cheerfully, or at least do not show any 
hard feelings. Neither is it polite to shout or 
to be over-joyous when you are winning the 
game 

It would be the sign of a small and greedy 
mind to bring the game to a close as soon as 
you are the winner. 

Unless you are learning the game, you must 
never ask the advice of others that might be 
looking on. 

5. Be Obliging. — When in company you are 
asked to take part in a friendly game, it is 
polite to do so, even though you do not care to 
play. 

Do not insist upon playing the game that 
you prefer, after the company has agreed to 
play another. True politeness often requires 
of us to renounce our own will in order to give 
pleasure to others. 

6. Looking On. — Should the company be en- 
gaged in a game in which you are not taking 
part, it is polite to be neutral and silent. Do 



Good Manners in Recreation. 125 



not take the part of any one of the players, nor 
try to assist them by your advice, unless asked 
to do so. 

It is rude to find fault with one who makes 
a bad move or a misplay, or to annoy the play- 
ers by frequent remarks as to which of them 
will probably win or lose. 

7. Base Ball. — When boys are about to play 
a game of base ball, it is proper to select a cap- 
tain, and then willingly to take whatever posi- 
tion he may wish them to play. It is very silly 
and unmannerly on the part of those boys who 
quarrel or refuse to continue the game because 
their side is losing, or because the umpire hap- 
pens to make a mistake. 

8. Social Entertainments. — Another form of 
recreation is what we might call a parlor enter- 
tainment. Young persons are often asked to 
sing or to play a piece on a musical instrument 
for the amusement of the family or of visitors. 
In such a case it is polite to do so promptly,* 
without waiting to be urged. Some foolish 
children expect a great deal of coaxing and 
have various excuses to make before complying 
with a polite request. 



126 



Questions for Review. 



When any performance of this kind is going 
on, polite children will be silent. They will 
suspend any game or conversation, and listen 
attentively to the entertainment. It would be 
very rude to laugh aloud, or to interrupt the 
performer in any way. 

Children must not offer to entertain the com- 
pany, but must wait until they are invited to 
do so. 

9. Stories. — Telling stories is often a very 
agreeable pastime. In this regard you must 
not be selfish, but give each one a turn, and 
tell only such stories as you would not hesitate 
to tell in the presence of your parents or teach- 
ers. Thus you will not offend God, nor risk 
to give scandal to others. 



Questions for Review 

m 1. What is the proper rest for mind and 
body? 

2. How can we sanctify our games and rec- 
reations? 

3. What is said regarding the rules of a 
game? cheating? a dishonest player? 



Extracts for Memorizing. 127 

4. How can you avoid losing your temper? 
How should you act when a player is dishon- 
est? when you are losing? when winning? 
What is said about asking advice? 

5. When should you take part in a game? 
What does true politeness often require of us? 

6. How should you act when looking on at 
a game? What would be rude in such a case? 

7. What is said about base ball? 

8. How should young persons act when 
asked to play or sing? how, during such a per- 
formance? what must they avoid? 

9. What kind of stories may you tell? 



Extracts for Memorizing 

1. Recreation must be a relaxation, but not 
a dissipation of the mind. — St. Alphonsus. 

2. We are to be the masters of amusement, 
and not its slaves. — D. Martin. 

3. Simple pleasures are the sunlight of life ; 
and the little plants struggle to the sunshine 
and find light for themselves, darken their 
dwelling-place as you will. — M. F. Egan. 



128 Extracts for Memorizing. 



4. The richest pleasures are those that cen- 
ter in spiritual and intellectual pursuits, and 
as the higher nature attains more, the senses 
demand less. 

5. Few are qualified to shine in company, 
but it is in most men's power to be agreeable.— 
Swift. 

6. "Nothing avails us under the sun, 

In work or in play, save that which is done 
For the honor and glory of God alone." 



Good Manners in Business. 129 



CHAPTER IX. 

Good Manners in Business 

1. Start Well. — The most critical period in 
the business life of a boy or a girl is the time 
when they graduate from school and begin to 
look for a position. If they start well, they 
will usually succeed, while, if they start poorly, 
their ambitions may receive a serious blow, 
from which it will be difficult to recover. 

2. Securing a Position. — Several points are 
of primary importance in securing a position, 
and among them politeness holds the first 
place. 

Above all, be polite when you enter an office. 

Be neat and tidy in your personal appear- 
ance. This point alone often secures the posi- 
tion. 

When asked as to your qualifications, do not 
speak timidly or doubtfully, but in a tone of 
confidence. However, do not boast of your 
ability nor claim to have knowledge of things 
that you do not understand. 



130 



Good Manners in Business. 



Ask pleasantly for a trial, that you may 
prove your worth. 

If requested to call at a certain hour, be 
there a little before the appointed time. 

If answering an advertisement in person, be 
there early. If you write an answer, let your 
note be neat and well-written, your spelling 
correct, and your composition faultless. 

Do not forget that the first impressions that 
your employer forms of you and your work 
usually determine whether you are to remain 
in his employ or not; therefore, be pleasant, 
work hard, and avoid all the errors possible. 

3. Success. — If you would possess the key to 
success, as far as a business life is concerned, 
make yourself a necessity. No matter what 
business you start in, aim to learn as much as 
possible about it. Be not satisfied to equal the 
other clerks, but strive to surpass them. The 
moment you excel, your services will be in de- 
mand. Stephen Gerard was once reproached 
with having been a drummer boy. He replied : 
"Yes, but didn't I drum well? Didn't I beat 
them all drumming?" His motto was, "What 
is worth doing at all, is worth doing well." The 



Good Manners in Business. 131 

result was that he became the best banker in 
Philadelphia. 

4. Honesty. — "Honesty is the best policy," 
we are told when we are little children, but 
how many, as they grow older, forget it and 
think that they can gain a great deal by one 
dishonest act. If they are not found out in a 
week, or perhaps in a year, the day will come 
when they will have to give an account, and 
then they will say, when it is too late : "Why 
was I dishonest?" 

We, who some day wish to hold a high and 
honorable position, and, moreover, we who 
must one day give a strict account to God for 
the slightest dishonesty, must always keep in 
mind this little proverb, and act accordingly. 

Many an employer will test your honesty by 
leaving a penny or a nickel lie about as if by 
accident. If he finds you honest in little 
things, be sure that he will trust you in mat- 
ters of greater importance. 

5. Patience and Perseverance. — Without these 
qualities, a boy or a girl seldom, if ever, has 
permanent success. A willingness to work and 
a disposition to continue at work, no matter 
how monotonous it may be, always means sue- 



132 Good Manners in Business. 



cess. These qualities indicate self-possession 
and self-discipline, and any business man will 
pay well for such accomplishments. 

6. Keep Steady. — Remember the old saying, 
"A rolling stone gathers no moss," and do not 
shift about. When you get a position, hold on 
to it. Unless you are sure that you can im- 
prove your condition by stepping into another 
place, resist all temptation to change. The 
new place is often not what you expected, and 
not as desirable in many ways as the old one. 

7. Be Silent. — Most young people talk too 
much, especially in reference to what they in- 
tend to do. Those who are always planning to 
do great things, seldom have much to show. 

Remember that the secrets of the business 
are yours, and should never be made known to 
others. 

Be cautious in your statements about busi- 
ness matters. Information is often worth more 
than goods on the shelves, or money in the 
drawer. 

When your feelings are hurt, be silent until 
you recover from your excitement. Wait until 
you can speak calmly, and then maybe you will 
not need to speak at all. 



Good Manners in Business. 133 

When you have little worries and vexations, 
do not complain or grumble — be silent. Some 
day you may come to know what real trouble is. 

8. Be Businesslike. — Whenever you transact 
business, do it in a methodical and business- 
like manner. If you pay a bill, take a proper 
receipt therefor, and keep your receipts, letters, 
and all other documents, filing them in a sys- 
tematic manner. You should always be able 
to turn to any paper at a moment's notice. 

Do nothing in a careless manner, and leave 
nothing undone that should be done. 

Attend strictly to business during working 
hours, and spend no time with idlers. 

If you are sent on an errand, go at once, and 
never show displeasure; then, return without 
delay. 

As long as you are in the employ of others, 
work exactly as though you were the proprie- 
tor ; make the interest of the House your inter- 
est, and your service will be earnestly sought 
for. 

9. Be Obedient. — St. Paul tells all servants 
to obey their masters; not only those who are 
good and gentle, but likewise those who are 



134 



Good Manners in Business. 



severe, because "all authority comes from 
God." 

If you offer to work for an employer, he be- 
comes your superior by the fact that he accepts 
your services, and you are then in conscience 
bound to obey him, as well as those who repre- 
sent him, in all that concerns your duty as em- 
ployee. 

Should a fellow-clerk presume to give you 
orders, be not so rude as to say : "You are not 
my boss!" Rather say: "Excuse me, but I 
must first ask the foreman or head-clerk about 
this matter." 

If someone asks a favor that will not inter- 
fere with your duty, show yourself obliging 
and do it cheerfully; for, "one good turn de- 
serves another." 

10. Associates. — "A man is known by the 
company he keeps," is an adage as true as it is 
old. By associates are meant those of your 
companions whom you prefer to others. These 
have the greatest influence upon your charac- 
ter, and therefore upon your success in life. 
Young people are unconsciously moulded by 
their associates, to their lasting benefit or in- 



Good Manners in Business. 135 



jury. Low, dishonest, disrespectful compan- 
ions are debasing, and should be shunned by 
those who respect themselves. If, therefore, 
you wish to be respected, be careful with whom 
you associate, especially outside of business 
hours. 

11. Character. — Cultivate a firm character, 
and learn to say "No" pleasantly and firmly 
when occasion requires it. Think independent- 
ly and for yourself, and act according to your 
conscience, regardless of what others may 
think or say. This independence of thought 
and action is one of the highest attributes a 
person can possess; without it his manhood is 
defective. 

12. Education. — What the art and skill of 
the cutter and polisher is to the rough diamond, 
education is to the human mind, giving to it 
its power, brilliancy and w^orth. The young 
man or the young woman wiio would be a suc- 
cess in the world of to-day must equip them- 
selves, by hard study and close observation, to 
win in the contest, and to overcome the many 
difficulties that they will find strewn along 
their pathway. While the indolent, careless 
and indifferent student is constantly being 



136 



Good Manners in Business. 



pushed to the rear, the' young person of energy, 
ambition, perseverance and industry, will rap- 
idly advance until he reaches the front rank in 
his chosen calling or profession. 

13. Advice. — A good rule to insure success 
is to learn by the experience of others, and to 
profit by good advice. A very successful busi- 
ness man writes : "During my career I have 
lived up to four rules, as follows : 

"First — Never pretend to know more than 
your employer. 

"Second — Be polite and courteous in all 
business matters. 

"Third — Be punctual in attendance, and 
truthful in all things. 

"Fourth — Answer each and every question 
put to you by your employer with 'Yes, sir,' or 
'No, sir,' and above all things, never try to ex- 
plain or smooth over your mistakes. 

"It is upon the above rules, along with the 
training I received at school, that I lay the 
foundation of my success. The balance was 
achieved by good, hard work." 



Questions for Keview. 



137 



Questions for Review 

1. Why is it important to start well? 

2. What is said about entering an office? 
about personal appearance? How should you 
speak? When should you call? How should 
your written answer be? What can you say 
about first impressions? 

3. What is the key to success? How can 
you make yourself a necessity? What is the 
story of Stephen Gerard? 

4. What can you say of honesty? Why 
must we be honest? Will employers test your 
honesty ? 

5. Mention two necessary qualities. What 
do they indicate? 

6. What can you say about changing your 
position ? 

7. What is said about talking too much? 
about the secrets of the business? about infor- 
mation? about feelings that are hurt? about 
little worries and vexations? 

8. What must you observe regarding a bill 
to be paid? about receipts, letters, etc.? about 
leaving things undone? What is said about 



138 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



idlers? about going on an errand? How can 
you cause your services to be sought for? 

9. Whom should we obey, and why? Must 
you obey a fellow-clerk? 

10. What is meant by associates? What 
influence have they? What class of compan- 
ions should be shunned? 

11. What is said of a firm character ? How 
should you think and act? 

12. What does education give to the human 
mind? What is necessary to obtain success? 
What is said of a careless student? an ambi- 
tious and persevering student? 

13. What is said of experience and advice? 
Give the four rules mentioned. 



Extracts for Memorizing 

1. Systematic, conscientious and hard work 
is one of the foremost conditions of success in 
any pursuit of life. 

2. He who conscientiously does his own 
work, however poor his efforts may be, will 
continue to gain strength, and may hope to be- 
come a real success in life; but he who depends 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



139 



upon his neighbor, possesses a weak character, 
and cannot expect to reach permanent success. 

3. It is a greater thing to maintain a brave 
and self-respecting silence than to defend one's 
self to no purpose. — Roscoe. 

4. The world generally gives its admiration, 
not to the man who does what nobody else ever 
attempts to do, but to the man who does best 
what multitudes do well. — Macaulay. 

5. The true dignity of life is not found in 
escaping difficulties, but in mastering them. — 
Dean Stanley. 

6. The great thing in life is to have a great 
aim, and perseverance to attain it. — Goethe. 



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